"Oh, you mean Toto'", the Press Secretary said mischievously.

"I thought Toto' was an Italian comic actor"

"Oh, yes of course, but the Prince of Savoy is known as Toto' within the family circle"

"I am so glad they found a nice neat formula to replace eleven or twelve names" PC said sarcastically.

"No news really except that a few heads are going to roll and last night the Prince himself rolled off his bunk bed in the prison cell and got off lightly with just a bruise", the Press Secretary said.

"He will be lucky if that's all he will get after this scandal" PC said, gloating.

Time to switch to a less controversial subject so the Press Secretary tried the World Cup.

They had a look at the newspapers, trying to come to terms with the World Cup fever which had gripped the NERD people of all classes. Blair and Jowell flew the St. George's flag on their official cars (Daimler and Rover) and it even flew from the residence in Downing Street. There had not been time to design a new NERD flag but the red and white cross of St. George was deemed to be perfectly adequate for the time being.

"And what about the Union Jack?"the Queen asked peevishly.

"They have withdrawn it and are looking for a new national flag" thePress Secretary said, trying to break the news to her gently.

The Queen certainly had England's fortunes still on her radar

as she sipped her second coffee.

"England drew last night with Sweden", the Press Secretary said.

"You mean Ex-England, I presume" she said frostily.

"Whatever.... anyway Wayne Rooney played for 69 minutes

and then Eriksson withdrew him in case he might get injured again and Rooney was in a strop as he felt he could have lasted the whole match. The NERD kingdom is fixated on whether he is or will be match fit.

"What has he got?" PC asked

"Problem with his metatarsus- the whole populace is now an expert on orthopedics". PC thought that the Press Secretary was an unbearable know-all but said nothing and asked a question instead. It was either that or an exclamation so he merely asked

"And what part of his body might that be?"

"Toe bone that connects with the ball of his foot"

"So his football is not quite right" guffawed PC but nobody else laughed.

"Michael Owen fell so he is probably out of the World Cup now so a pretty bad run of luck all round".

To everybody's astonishment the Queen said:-

"Well, that should force Eriksson to abandon the 4-4-2 formation and opt for the 4-5-1"

It always amazed the Press Secretary how quickly she grasped the essentials of any argument.

" How about playing 4,5,1 on the lottery" the Press Secretary suggested.

"Excellent idea" said the Queen "I just love Superenalotto!"