A few days ago, I was jarred from my intellectual “think tank" when my eight-year-old daughter paid me an unexpected visit. “Mommy, I just need a hug," she proclaimed at my bedroom door well passed her normal bedtime. Despite my formal training in Psychology and Education, I had been deeply affected by the images and stories that had flooded the airwaves. I have to admit that I, too, had been sucked into the never-ending news coverage of this terrifying natural disaster. My desire to help and to offer viable solutions to these displaced Americans had me crippled with pain. My normal routines had been disrupted and every conversation contained a few choice remarks about our government, their response time and the national tragedy. While I had been actively attending to the needs of everyone else, like so many other parents, I had forgotten to talk to my own children.

In the aftermath of two major hurricanes, Katrina and Rita, even those indirectly affected may have difficultly coping with the magnitude of this disaster. Particularly, younger children, with their underdeveloped communication skills, may experience a greater sense of vulnerability and lack of understanding. Older children possibly will be affected by the disruptions in their daily routines and images of upset parents, teachers and friends. Both young and old, children may find it difficult to express their feelings. Many children could be deeply frightened by fact that this could happen, perhaps to their own family.

In times of crisis and confusion, our children may show many symptoms of being stressed. Children can exhibit uncontrollable anger or sadness. Children might become afraid of being separated from their parents. They may have nightmares or have difficulty falling to sleep. Some may stop eating, become quiet or withdrawn. Others may possibly want to keep talking about the experience or keep “disaster themes" in their play or stories. They can become more active, restless, “jumpy" or become easily upset. Their behavior might regress to include sucking their thumb, wetting the bed, clinging and wanting to be held. In several of the Katrina news clips, we saw children over the age of five sucking juice from baby bottles. Some questioned, “Why would they give an older child a bottle?" The emergency caregivers understood that these changes in behaviors were common in children who have been through a disaster, and are natural responses to extreme stress. Remember, even if children don’t say it, they have been affected by this crisis!

These changes in behavior, while common, are usually temporary and do not develop into serious or permanent psychological problems. Some symptoms will last a few days, weeks or months, but typically lessen over time. Some children may not show any outward signs and other will have delayed symptoms, becoming upset several weeks or months after the event. However, in extreme cases where a family member is missing, critically injured or killed, the children may need to seek professional help to appropriately deal with the grieving process.

So, what is a parent to do? When our children experience normal childhood injuries, parents know when to apply a bandage, ice pack or call a doctor. But what if your child has been inundated with images of stress, hardship and violence? Parents can’t “just make it all better" for the people affected by hurricane Katrina, “911" or the Tsunami. Some parents may feel helpless, angry and confused themselves. It is even harder to know what to do when their children become scared, angry or insecure. Coping with crisis, unfortunately, has become an essential skill in today’s world. Through the TV, newspapers, radio reports, Internet, and magazines, we are exposed daily to the governmental power struggles, terrorist acts, and natural disasters around the world. These “uncontrollable events" add to our everyday stresses and can have a profound affect on our children’s lives.

First and foremost, parents must make time to take care of their own needs and calm down. Resilient, calm, and optimistic parents are better able to provide support for their family in a time of crisis. Parents are encouraged to share their faith and stories of courage and determination with their children. Identifying with family members, who have survived despite great odds, is comforting to children. Remind them that families that pull together through adversity will stay strong even after the crisis is resolved. Be sure to inspire hope in your children!

Secondly, support your children emotionally. Keep your children informed and involved in the family’s efforts to recover or provide assistance. Take time to comfort and listen to your children. Help your children feel good about themselves. Children want to help and put their problem-solving skills to the test. It builds their sense of self-worth and citizenship. Provide them with age appropriate ways to help the family or those affected by the crisis. Writing “Thank You" letters or drawing pictures for the emergency workers is a powerful activity for all ages. Older children can help serve food at the shelters or box groceries at the food banks. Allow older siblings to baby-sit the younger children, while parents attend to pressing “adult" issues. This is a time to use the resources of the whole family and reassure children about the family’s viability and safety.

Lastly, get on with life! Speak simply and honestly about the disaster. Children are frightened about things they don’t understand. When uninformed children will exaggerate their fears and stress related behaviors. Keeping your children informed and comforted emotionally is key to returning to a normal life. After all, children of all ages feel safest in a structured environment. Reinstate your normal rituals as soon as possible. Predictable mealtimes, bedtimes, chores, and daily routines like school and recreation activities are comforting to children. It helps them to see that life goes on and shifts the focus toward tomorrow and away from yesterday’s aftermath.