The statistics show something very clear. We are all living longer. Modern healthcare has advanced to the point where we can all live for years and years. Unfortunately, this has resulted in long term care issues that many families are in turmoil over.
Whatever your feeling towards your mom and dad, there is no doubt they fed and clothed you when you were a child. Now you are in somewhat of a similar position. You are making the serious decision regarding their life.
As our parents age, they are going to need more and more care. The question is who will do it? Are you and your siblings going to handle the day to day routine? Are you going to have your parents move in? What about your own life?
As you can probably tell already, the answers to these questions are difficult. Guilt, anger, financial stress and marital stress are all things that can come up. You owe your parents, but to what extent? There is no correct answer.
Many of us will often first think about bringing mom or dad home to live with us. While a caring decision, the potential negative effect on your life, finances and marriage can be extreme. Your spouse married you, not your parents.
In general, parents living with kids does not work out well. Still, you can try it out without risking much. The only time this should not occur is if your parent has dementia. In such a situation, professional help should be mandatory.
As our parents age, a percentage of them will suffer from some form of dementia. It is a brutal thing to watch. It is so emotionally vicious that trying to care for the parent is really risking your own emotional health.
On a more practical level, the answer is clear. Patients with dementia need a lot of care and you simply cannot provide it. Watching your parents fade a way mentally is tough, but caring for them is even more so.
The decision to put a parent in a home is generally a good one. Why? Well, they are going to get the attention they need. Just as important, they are going to be around their age group peers, which can lead to emotional and intellectual stimulation.
Even if your parents are hesitant, do not feel guilty with putting them in a home. You have to live your life. They will ultimately be happier when they make new friends and when you come by to see them.
