In fact, there have been times when I wondered if I had much of a "life" at all.

You know what I mean. As a woman you play multiple roles. You're a daughter, grand daughter, sister, niece, girlfriend, wife, business woman, gal pal, volunteer?.and sometimes community leader, politician, or in the ministry. And you're exhausted! You want to do it all and do it all well. You don't want to let anyone down, and yet you're losing it. Okay, so maybe you don't need to be checked into to a hospital, but your energy and enthusiasm is slipping, your health is waning, and you wonder if you can keep it all together.

The solution to the problem I've often heard is to have "work-life balance." I understand the intent, but striving for balance hasn't worked for me. The idea of balance is that I evenly divide up my time and energy for every area of my life, like a see-saw with a whole bunch of sides to it with equal weights. But, my life isn't divided up evenly, nor do I think it should be. Right now for example, to grow my business takes a better chunk of my time than, let's say, making dinner, working out, or taking care of pets.

I say forget "balance". Strive for sanity instead! Sanity is feeling at the end of everyday feeling internally satisfied that you used your time and energy on what's most important to you. Here are seven secrets to getting there.

Secret #1 is Know What You Want

Be clear about who and what's important to you. Then make choices to support your decision. If you don't know what I want, there will always be someone who will try to determine it for you.

Secret #2 is Say "No" Without Apology

When you're saying "no" to what you don't want you're saying "yes" to what you do want. Saying no doesn't mean you're being mean or hurting someone else. It means you're taking care of yourself and, often, those you most care about. That's something we should never apologize for!

Secret #3 is Focus on What's Going Right

Focusing your attention on those things that are working and helping you feel good about yourself gives you the necessary self-esteem and staying power for dealing with difficult situations and creating sanity.

Secret #4 is Stay Away From Whiners

Life is too short and requires too much of us to be spending lots of time with people or in situations that don't cheer us on to the best we can be and go for our dreams.

Secret #5 is Get Someone Else to Do It

You really don't have to do it all! Get someone to do the things in your life that really can be done by someone else.

Secret #6 is Take Care of You and You and You

Take care of all of you ? the physical you, the emotional you, the mental you, the social you, and the spiritual you. Taking care of yourself gives you staying power. You're not only worth it; you are the only you you've got.

Secret #7 is Be Serious About Not Being So Serious

Don't miss the fun along the way. Be playful! Laugh as much as possible and find the humor that's begging to be discovered. The demands of your fast, full life temporarily melt away.