One of the nicest things for a new mum about preparing for a new baby is buying the baby wear. Of course, there are lots of practicalities to consider; the cot, the pram, the car seat, all need attending to with utmost care. The right size, the right design, the right colour, these are all aspects that new parents will want to consider.

However, there is nothing that turns a mum to goo quite like handling that baby wear. Maybe it's true what they say about pregnancy making your brain shrink, or maybe it's simply nature's way of making sure the human baby is well covered and kept warm and alive. Whatever it is, it works. The skinny woman in Mothercare inhaling deeply the aroma of tiny baby gros will be experiencing early pregnancy. The larger, obviously pregnant woman holding the baby gros to her stomach is not trying them for size but trying to gauge how this baby is going to fit into them. More to the point, if it fits in this baby wear, how the heck is she going to get it out of her!

Women pour over baby wear and allocate it as much importance as a man over the football results. The colour has to be right and mixed with a good degree of pure, innocent white and above all, baby wear must be made of cotton, organic if possible, to ensure that no irritation occurs.

Baby vests come in multi packs but each one has to be removed from the packaging in the mothers softer moments. It must be unfolded and smoothed out, sniffed and then returned either to it's packaging ready to be re-sniffed at a later date, or if the pregnancy is advanced, it will be folded and put into a drawer. Putting the baby wear away is a novelty, ladies, trust me, give it a few years and you'll be moaning that you're the only person who knows how to put clothes away and if you have a boy, his future wife will still be doing it for him.

Baby gros also come in multi packs and some of these, normally the white ones, will be purchased by those parents who have been through this before and realise that you can get through a dozen of these beauties in a very small space of time. Of course, new mums and subsequent mums will still buy those cute, iddy, biddy, little baby gros that have sweet slogans or pictures on. A few of these are essential items in the baby closet.

Socks were always my thing. The first item of clothing all my babies had were little tiny white socks. They look like dolls socks and are produced with that same ability that adult socks come with of being able to separate from each other, never to be reunited. So, be warned, buy many socks. In the baby shop sock section (and that's not easy to say with a shrunken brain) you will come across cute looking little shoes. They are meant to imitate adult shoes, usually in the form of moccasins, trainers or slippers. Don't bother. They never stay on and if you can get them on, they always look like handicapped shoes.

Bibs will come in handy, for as long as you can be bothered to mess about with them, bendy baby screaming in one hand while you grapple with the fastenings of a bib and leak breast milk over his/her head - believe me, the novelty wears off and a clean tea towel wedged under the chin will do just as nicely.

I guess I'm saying the important thing is for women to get the basics but don't fuss too much. Once your baby is under a blanket or covered in puke, they all look the same whether that baby gro cost you 3 pounds at Primarks or 224 pounds from Dolce and Gabbanna. And for the men, never underestimate the smell of baby wear. If you want permission to go to the pub, just wave a new baby gro under her nose and she'll be putty in your hands.