When we think of flowers, buying flowers and sending flowers, we automatically think of giving them to another: a loved one, a partner, a spouse whomever we think would be comforted from receiving them.
On the way home I drove by my usual route and passed the Philippine Heart Center. Across from it was a tiny flower kiosk. I'm not sure why I hadn't noticed it before or why I stalled at the sidewalk to by myself a large bunch of flowers.
?Visiting someone?? said the girl.
?Yes, myself. I want to find out how I am.?
She raised her eyebrows and squeeked, ?You all right??
?I shall be, ?I said, throwing her a carnation.
Rejection is one of the most painful experiences in relationships. As soon as a person feels their partner is rejecting them or finding fault, they quickly begin to reject their partner and reject themselves as well. All of a sudden, their sense of self-worth is dependent on how their partner feels about them.
It is so important to take time to do nice things for ourselves. Especially for those of us who spend much of our time helping and caring for others, it is too easy to neglect ourselves and become worn out, stressed out and run down. Self-pampering is not about being selfish. It's about taking proper care of yourself and treating yourself as kindly as you treat others. We spend so much time and effort caring for our spouses, children, pets, friends, family members, employers and employees. Add to that numerous volunteer activities, errands, housework, family functions, meetings, etc. - and there isn't much time left for caring for ourselves.
We need to make caring for ourselves a priority; otherwise we will continue to put it off. Set an appointment with yourself every day, or at least once a week. Block the time out in your calendar and do not let anything interfere. As much as you do for others, you deserve this time for yourself. In order to make time for yourself, you may need to say "no" to various extra obligations in your life. So many of us take on responsibilities that aren't even ours. We have various reasons for doing this, such as wanting to be liked, not wanting to let others down, wanting to help lighten the load for someone else, or simply because we don't know how to say "NO". However, this "pleaser" mentality can get us into big trouble as we take on more and more responsibility, and end up with less and less time for ourselves.
People will take advantage of us if we let them. They may not realize they are taking advantage, and they may not mean to take advantage. They might not even realize that we don't want to do what they ask of us. After all, if we've never said "no", how would they know?
Be kind and gentle with yourself. If you don't make the time to care for yourself, who else is going to? Take a bubble bath by candle light. Spend time in nature. Get a manicure or pedicure. Have a massage. Buy yourself something new. Get a new hairdo. Curl up with a good book. Take dance lessons. Learn a new language. Send yourself flowers.
