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Science Is A Bane
Zilpah Harounoff
"How dare I say such a thing!" I hear you say, deep from the recesses of your mind. I mean after all, people are always so proud of the fact that no matter what their results may be, "At least they're not lazy". And if laziness is a myth, then we can't wear that badge of honor anymore, and hey, it's a nice consolation prize.
Well, let's get right to it... What makes me so sure that laziness is a myth?
If you've ever know a person who one would describe as "lazy", and we all have, then you may have also witnessed that there are certain things that person is not at all lazy about.
Maybe they don't work hard at their job, they never clean their home, they are completely disorganized and so on, yet when it comes to their hobbies, or something they love like their fishing, or music, or scrapbooking, or baking, or sports or just fill in the blank, then those people suddenly act like they're a completely different person.
Now, you may be thinking: "Well sure those things are fun, so they don't mind doing that".
But I've noticed that even when there's a lot of boring or hard work involved in the areas that so called "lazy people" feel impassioned about, they'll still do the work with no problem.
Let's break it down and look at it more closely. They're willing to do the grunt work when it's related to things they love, but they'll barely do the least amount necessary in the other areas of their lives.
If they were truly "lazy" they wouldn't do the grunt work in any area, no matter what.
Consider this possibility: People are "never" lazy they're just not motivated enough, because they don't believe the action is worth their while. In other words, there's not a big enough "pay-off" for them to decide to do the work.
This is what it can look like...
"Why keep the house clean and tidy, it's a pain in the neck and it's just going to get dirty again anyway? So some people will maybe think less of me, or even get a little angry with me, that's better than having to do the house cleaning."
Or...
"Why drive myself nuts working hard at my job? They don't appreciate what I do anyway. Also, my father gave his all to his job, and all he got was a lousy watch at retirement and was completely broke all his life. If I'm going to be broke anyway, I may as well coast."
When people "decide" to be lazy, though it may seem like they made a good choice, what's really going on is that they've left some pieces out of their decision making process.
Sometimes the piece they've left out may be self respect, self worth or consideration for others. Or perhaps it's a glass ceiling that they've convinced themselves exists, which in reality doesn't. Other times it's due to "hidden obstacles", which they don't even know exist, that are in fact keeping them living a less successful life.
They think they made their decision to be lazy based on all the facts, but they didn't. And here's one more thing, "It's not their fault and it never was", because they never knew there was a piece missing all along.
And, to some degree or another, unintentionally, we all live out these lies due to various "hidden obstacles" that keep us from reaching our goals and finally living the life of our dreams. And it's not our fault either.
Whenever we've strived for something and haven't been able to attain it, we've been told to try harder, and that we must not be dedicated enough. But that's not true - it's the hidden obstacles that have been keeping us from our dreams.
So, how can we dismantle these hidden obstacles and lies?
Well, I'm a firm believer that there are a variety of methods which can provide the solution you're looking for - half the battle is knowing what the "real problem" is, so you can find the solution that works for you.
One of the methods I recommend is the following writing exercise:
Select something in your life that you believe you don't do better in because you're "lazy" or that you just can't get yourself to do, even though you know you should.
Grab a notebook and draw a line down the center of a page. On the right side put the "pros" of doing the task in question, and on the left, write out the "cons" of doing it.
Be really honest with yourself. Don't worry about how it might look, and don't assume you know what the outcome of the exercise will be - just be open to whatever comes up.
The exercise is simply intended to give you more clarity about the choice you've already made and are living by. And this new clarity will give you the opportunity to re-evaluate your choice.
For example, after looking at the "pros and cons" you may consciously decide that for you, the task is really not worth doing. The difference will be that now you'll feel free to give yourself the permission to not do the task, without any of the guilt or anger towards yourself that you might usually have.
After you've completed the exercise, if you still want to get yourself to do the task, you'll need to look for some "additional" benefits that doing the task could bring. These additional benefits will motivate you to move forward. In other words, find more things to put on the "pros" side of the page, until you feel that doing the task is worth your while.
Another method is to use a combination of free association, writing and self-interview in which you ask yourself questions about the task or area of difficulty. You then free associate around it and write out the answers that come into your consciousness. Once again, don't edit or judge, just write down your answers as they come up.
Most folks are surprised by what they discover, which leads to the next aspect of the exercise where you review and explore the answers you've come up with, to see if they are "really true", or if they're just something that you've always believed without ever really questioning.
This is vitally important, because we often make our decisions based on beliefs or assumptions that we're not even aware we're operating from.
The exercise is quite revealing and will give you the power to make your decisions from a place of clarity instead of mere habit.
If you want to change how you show up around something, but the writing exercises aren't working as fast as you'd like, then you may want to consider working with a professional consultant, life coach, mentor or therapist, particularly one who specializes in the area that you'd like improvement in.
You can ask someone you know who has already worked with a professional, and who has seen results from that work, to recommend a professional for you. If you don't know anyone who has done so, there is a wealth of information online and you can research different methods and practitioners.
Be sure to interview practitioners thoroughly before you decide to work with them. Trust your instincts, even though they may be a professional, they might not be the right professional for you.
Also, you may want to get your feet wet first, by going to a support group that focuses on the area you're looking to improve in. You can look for a group in your local community, or again, you can go online and look for one there.
Remember to trust your instincts with a support group as well. If the group doesn't feel right for you, keep looking until you find one that does.
Another method I also know of that quickly produces very good results is Anthony Costa's "Freeing YOUR Inner Winner"... Anthony specifically works on eliminating hidden obstacles, in a gentle yet effective way. To find out more simply go to: http://more.freeingyourinnerwinner.com
As I said, I'm a firm believer that there are a variety of methods which can provide the solution you're looking for and the above are just a few examples of ways in which you can dismantle the "hidden obstacles" which are blocking your path.
If you think laziness is causing you the problem, you'll simply spend your time beating yourself up, feeling guilty and lowering your self-esteem... And you still won't be able to get yourself to do the task in question. So, why not try looking at this in a new way - you may actually break free?
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