As a Marriage, Family Therapist, I had the opportunity to counsel many clients of all ages. My clients taught me that we all have a self-image. Unfortunately, we are often unaware of what it is, because it is usually hidden in our subconscious. Therefore, even though we strive so hard to reach our goals, if our self-image is not in alignment with our success, we are likely to sabotage our efforts.

For example, if your image of yourself is that of an employee, you are not likely to allow yourself to become a manager. It just does not fit your self-image.

If you see yourself as unlovable, you will probably push away the one who tells you, "You are lovable." If you have an image of yourself as being poor, you very well may sabotage your financial success and any chance to move up in your career.

For example, I wanted to join an exclusive tennis club in California and I heard myself sabotaging my enrollment by thinking negative thoughts. I do not have enough money. I can not play tennis well. I have no time. People will not want to play with me.

Since none of these statements were true, I recognized my fear of success. Being a member of the exclusive tennis club did not fit my self-image. I am a poor girl from Brooklyn, New York.

My unconscious fears could not accept a poor girl image in this club with wealthy people. Once I realized the issue, I was able to use my HART process (Holistic And Rapid Transformation) to update my self-image. I did allow myself to join the tennis club and I had a wonderful time. I broke through the fear that this particular success did not fit my self-image.

How many clubs or organizations have you not joined, because it did not fit your self-image?

This fear of success comes up very often in love relationships. Susan, a twenty-six year-old attractive blonde, was in tears as she told me how much she wanted to be in a relationship. However, all the men in her life kept leaving her. Susan felt she was unlovable.

In order for Susan to feel lovable, I guided her through a HART process that helped her change her self-image. It was not long before she began to attract more successful relationships.

Donna, a forty-two-year-old graphic designer, had a problem with obesity. Even though she set her intent to walk, join a gym, and eat the foods and drinks that would help her, she resisted all these positive changes.

When we explored the reason for her lack of follow-through, Donna said, "I am afraid to lose weight because then I would not know who I am." Donna's self-image was that of an overweight woman. Once she changed her old self-image to a new, slimmer one, she allowed herself to win the "battle of the bulge".

Ray, a thirty-year-old lawyer was not doing well in his practice. In the counseling process, he discovered that his self-image was one of a waiter which is how he worked himself through school. Once Ray updated his self-image to being a professional, his practice picked up considerably.

If you do not have a successful self-image, it is time to release the old image and replace it with one that is in alignment with your goals. You deserve success and happiness. Go for it!