Much of the population feels left out, as if on the sidelines. They feel that only people who had it from the start still have self-esteem, or perhaps they were well-liked as kids and and it stuck with them into adulthood. They always succeeding at at anything because they were "so loved". The fact is, "it just ain't so".

In many cases the opposite happens. The slim-trim blonde high-school cheerleader who maybe relied totally on looks for self-esteem later marries, has children and stretch marks, not to mention her hair turned gray from dealing with the children and possibly irate husband and she gained a good bit of weight from the extra bon-bons passed around at her literary club.

Much is expected of children of successful and/or famous parents. One thinks this may give them a "free ride" onto the high self-esteem track when it usually does just the opposite. In fact, many rebel and get into destructive habits to find their own voice, and never grow out of it. No self-esteem found here

So basically, self-esteem can (and will) do wonders for your self-esteem. That might not make sense if you feel your self-esteem hashas been compromised for a reason outside of your control. You become fearful of life. You become isolated and scared to try new things. It becomes a viscious cycle. But, self-esteem can be learned for the first time, or for the second time in a different way. Adult self-esteem is not the same as a child's and not always gotten in the same fashion.

Maybe you were the star athelete and wore the right clothes, made applauded every time you through a touchdown pass. You kept your grades up and you got consistent positive feedback. This helped your esteem. That is often how we get it early in life. But it is no longer that way in adulthood. Later in life, you landed a high paying marketing job and you hate it. The pay all goes to an ungrateful wife who spends it on fashions and takes vacations with her group of friends. And took your self-esteem with them, while you stayed home and drank beer and watched the game on television.

The truth is, as adults, we more often than not, have to create our own self-esteem. And the closer we get to knowing our real selves, the closer we get to higher self-esteem. We no longer get all the unconditional love, attention, and acknowledgment of our deeds we did when we were younger. It builds by the little things we do. Try it, keep a journal, and look at it next year. Read the whole year and see how dramatically you have changed for the better.

Even on a depressing day, drive yourself to a soup kitchen and volunteer. Visit a shut-in; run an errand for someone wheelchair-bound. Tutor a childwith his/her homework. Do something positive to get outside of yourself. You will not get back your self-esteem most likely in one day. But if you find yourself making it a habit of helping others, you will slowly find your self-esteem rising. It is a natural consequence of helping others and getting outside oneself. Maybe it's physics. The universe works in this fashion. We can fight it or join it.

The battle with low-self esteem can last a lifetime. Some never win. If one tries just a little, they usually do win. One day, not long ago, I looked up and I was turning fifty and had a major heart attack so I was becominging more aware of my mortality. Me? A major coronary? That was what other people had, not me. My ego loves me to think I'm so unique. So I took a week and analyzed my life. I took, (as Richard Dreyfus' book in 'What About Bob?', baby steps. I studied. I researched. I learned. I even went back to college online. I volunteer to help the elderly and shut-ins learn the Internet and a few have even enrolled in universities in their 60's and 70's.

All these little things worked toward building my self-esteem and I don't say build it back. I don't think I ever had it in the first place. So self-esteem is new to me, and a little goes a long way.

With all the obstacles and challenges I have endured in my life, and I am certain there are many others who have much tougher stories, if I can do it, anyone can. I just take a little time out of each day and do something to build my self-esteem. I may do a lot of other things incorrectly, but I try to learn to do them right, and still, I take time for myself to do just a little something positive for me or someone else, or both, with no thought of compensation.

In ten years of doing this, I feel I've made me a better person, and given that, made the world a little better place.

I created the largest cartoon site o the Internet which makes people feel good. I then launched nine gift stores; LTSuperstore, RickLondonCollection, Justfunnygreetingcards,Justfunnycoffeemugs, Justfunnyaprons, Mirthgirthbirth, RickLondonwear, Justfunnymousepads, Justfunnyhoodies, etc. Surfers stop at my stores and often order either for themselves or a friend or family member. Laughter is a great self-esteem builder and is quite bonding.

Exposing ourselves to humor helps us be more light-hearted. We learn to "wear the world like a loose-fitting garment". If you do not feel you are a funny person, no problem. Just try to expose yourself to something or someone humorous as often as you can.In time dramatic changes can happen and you will like them. I know that I did and I'm a very slow student. Eventually, even for me, it happened and is happening still.

But don't do it all at once. Remember, baby steps, a little bit each day, and in a year, you'll look back wondering who that sad person was (that was once you).