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Moving In Together
Ron Zvagelsky
This is a tough question to answer and there is no clear cut time table as to when a couple should move in together. One of the most important factors to consider is the amount of time you have been dating. You probably shouldn’t move in with someone after 3 months or less of dating; there’s still that “getting to know each other" period. So even though you may want to wake up next to the person – don’t start sharing bills right away. If you want to do the sleepover on weekends as a trial, that’s perfectly alright; just don’t make the commitment to move together that soon.
If you have been dating for over 6 month, you can approach the subject by sitting down and discussing how the move would affect your relationship. Women are more commitment orientated then men so don’t pressure your man to move in with you. You two may have a great relationship and he may not be ready to move in just yet.
Most people take settle down to mean marriage. But in this day and age, more and more people are living together without getting married. So the term living together may signal a thought of settling down or even the possibility of marriage that may be scary for either partner. Some couples may wait a year or so before they move in together because they want to make sure that they’re with the right person.
That theory also works the other way as well. Some people think the idea of moving in together is a great way to see if you’re truly in love with the person. It’s a good theory, but it can also have some negative side effects. For instance, say your partner moves in and after a few months it doesn’t work out. As a result, the person who moved will have to pack up again, find a new place and move out. Chances are the relationship will end and maybe it would have lasted longer if you didn’t rush it.
That’s why it is very important to discuss moving in first. Bring up the subject and see how your partner will react. Remember, you don’t have to discuss it all in one day, let it simmer for a while. If the subject seems to be dropped over time, bring it up again in 2 or 3 weeks; don’t constantly nag because chances are that won’t work. If the relationship is worth keeping then don’t rush into anything. When the right times comes it comes and if your partner isn’t ready, and they may never be, then you can reevaluate your relationship. The most important thing is that you give it time.
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