This approach is a lot less stressful and a lot more fun. And in this day of everyone having an e-mail address and ready access to the delete button, it is also a lot less threatening to the prospect too.

What you will not have to do is to memorize a script or make a pitch for your business. In fact, you should never mention your business at all. (I can hear the questions flying out of your mouth right now. Then how can I prospect them? What do I say then?)

Well, let’s cover a few other items first and then we will get down to the conversation aspect of our different approach to prospecting. First off you do not have to make a specific trip anywhere to prospect. Rather you do it as you go about your normal affairs. Also, you don’t pick out a likely suspect and then go after them. Rather you just go with the flow of normal human action and interaction. What I mean by that is you don’t need to have an elevator speech ready to roll off your tongue. (I do have one, but I seldom use it except to be polite and reply in kind when I ask someone what they do and they ask me the same.)

What you do need is the presence of mind to have your bearings about you and the willingness to just say hello, or an easy opening statement that is pertinent to your surroundings. Now we are ready to get into the conversation.

All you want to do is start up a conversation with someone who is near you. The conversation must be pertinent to your surrounds. For instance, if you are having the oil changed in your car and another person is doing the same thing and you are both sitting in the waiting room waiting for the work to be finished on your car, you WOULD NOT say something like, “Boy, the cost of meat sure is going up lately, isn’t it?" Rather you might say something more appropriate, such as, “Is that your Chevy Camero they are working on out there?" When they say yes, and smile, because you smiled when you asked the question, then you answer with something such as, “It sure looks sharp."

From that point the conversation should develop naturally with you asking questions and then really listening. What do you ask? Well, follow the word FORM. That stands for Family, Occupation, Recreation and Money.

Transition is critical. For instance, how do you go from saying their car is sharp to talking about Family or occupation? Well, you might ask this question. “What do you do that allows you to afford such a nice car?" See how naturally that transitions into one of the next categories? And that brings up another point. Do not get locked into the mindset that says you have to talk about family first, occupation second, etc. There is no set pattern you must follow. And there is nothing that says you absolutely have to cover all four of the FORM points. Remember, you are asking questions so you can discover a need, want, or desire on the part of the prospect. There may be more than one, you never know.

Also, do not ask a lot of questions that can be answered by yes or no or short answers. Some of them are unavoidable, of course. Ideally you should ask open ended questions that lend themselves to a discourse on the part of the prospect. For instance, instead of asking them: Is it nice to drive? you might ask them: What is it like driving that car? The first question can be answered by a simple yes. The second question requires more than one or two words to answer.

The family part is fairly straight forward. Occupation should be straight forward too. Recreation is a little more involved. It could be what they do for fun, or it could also be what they WANT to do for fun but may not be able to afford to do. Or, if a holiday is coming up you might ask them what they have planned for the holiday. As far as the money goes, you might talk about what you would do if you didn’t have to spend money on the car or other things. If they pick up on this train of thought then listen carefully to their answers.

Always expect each conversation to be different from any other you have had with other prospects. Yes, there will be similarities, but there will be major differences too. Don’t let the differences throw you.

Your ultimate goal is to discover, if possible, one or more needs or wants in this person’s life. Then, just before the conversation ends you might say something like this: “You know, I may have a possible answer to you situation. If you have an e-mail address I can shoot something over for you to look at. It may help or it may not. We won’t know until you look at it. If it fits, that’s great. I’m glad I could help. If not, then just throw it away." Think about this conversation. If you are not comfortable with it as is, come up with one of your own that will allow you to get their e-mail address and be able to send them information about your business. (It helps to have a pen and paper to take their e-mail address down with.)

Just remember to remind them of your conversation when you e-mail them with your information. Again, be non threatening by letting them know you hope it helps them with their situation. And if it doesn’t, then it’s ok to delete it. That way they will not feel pressured. Remember the old saying, “One convinced against his will remains unconvinced still."

Just remind yourself that is whole process is the potential beginning of a great business and personal relationship. You want it to be relaxed, not tense. So always give them the option of backing out of anything you have to offer.

Just one last word as to why this approach is better than the “get them" approach. The next time you are having a conversation with someone, try this. Try leaning toward them or away from them. You will notice subtle changes where they will either lean away from you or toward you according to your actions. If you lean toward them they will back away from you. If you lean away from them they will move toward you. The move may be subtle, but you will be aware of it if you are looking for it.

And that is the same with prospecting. Don’t drive your prospect away from you by being too aggressive. This different approach, which I have dubbed the “Leaning Back" approach, is not only more casual and less stressful, but it is also more successful, overall, than the “Get Them" approach. It’s more natural and can be a lot of fun.

One of three final tips! What you need to do is to go through pretend conversations in your head and think about what you might say if your prospect says certain things. This practice will help you keep the conversation moving along easily and in the direction you want it to go. This is the only place where you can back up the conversation and redo it so it goes where you want it to go. The more you practice the better you get and the more natural it feels. This will help you to have more fun in the process too.

Remember that you are attempting to discover a problem or challenge they have and help them with it. You are a problem solver. And this is all about them, not you. So keep your focus on them.

Lastly, don’t expect to get their e-mail address every time. Their business may be finished before the conversation has progressed to the point where you get their e-mail address. That’s OK. Just count that as a practice run. Stay relaxed and natural and not only will you enjoy it more but you will actually look forward to doing more of it rather than breaking out in a sweat every time the word prospecting is mentioned.