Here is a woman I will call Nancy who had those nasty monthly cramps. They were like a clock and did not skip a month. While on a leave of absence from her teaching job, she kept searching and exploring the reasons of her burnout. While consulting with me, we both explored her reality, past, and present.

As I explain to all my clients, a depression, a burnout, a disease or symptom is always the result of some past situation, action or lack of action. Here again, my diversified psychodynamic and neurolinguistic exercises helped us find some truths about her monthly torture. With honesty in charge, she found out how having these cramps were such a good subconscious tool that allowed her to say "NO" to people around her and also, helped her secure sympathy and compassion from her father who otherwise did not appear to show her much attention or affection.

We sometimes have become so used to responding like a puppet in many areas of our life that learning to say "NO!" could guarantee us a freer and saner life at so many levels. But before we become acquainted with this reality of minding our life, our fears lead us by the nose.

As for Nancy, her limiting belief was such that saying NO! to the surrounding demands was unthought of. She still believed at the bottom of her heart that she had to be a "nice little girl" if she wanted Mom and Dad to love her. That might be nice in a sane world, but what happens when you turn yourself into an adult and have not yet learned to say "NO!" to the many pressing and stressing demands of your environment is not a winning recipe for a happy life!

Therapy and connecting to her real issues and fears literally helped her get rid of her menstrual cramps. She has learned to lead her life with as little false fear as possible. You can join her; it's your choice.

As another example, a woman I will call Linda understood after some introspection and hindsight how her cramps had started soon after her father had sexually abused her during her pre-teen years. She had matured and healed a great part of that abuse but nevertheless she still had severe cramps until she connected the history of her symptoms.

There again, Linda had a subconscious belief that she should punish herself for not having brought the abuse out in the open when she was young. She also had anger toward her mother for allowing this to happen. All her cramps were some type of re-enactment of her unresolved past unresolved traumatic experience. Once she and I really got to the bottom of it in my office, she became free of cramps quite soon after.

In yet another occasion, a woman I will call Sophie understood how her cramps were part of a scheme where she was punishing herself for her past sexual promiscuity in her young mid-teen years. She then was on a quest for affection, which led her into becoming a sexual puppet for young men who were all too happy to fulfill their distorted sexual fantasies. Sophie has since regained control of her life, got into therapy, and has done very well for herself. That past was long gone... But, she had never allowed herself to grieve her distorted teen years and the leftover religious beliefs her past still carried subconsciously, leading her to punish herself through a manner that was acceptable.

The catch 22 of most symptoms, is that they never really heal anything but instead set in action the limiting belief itself. We can all do the same, it is up to us to find someone to accompany us in that back hole; once in it with the help of a secure hand, we can really heal it and finally become free. I wish you all to become part of that grand voyage within for without will show its healing upon returning.

Copyright 2006 Pauline Houle