Have you ever been unintentionally sabotaged by a coworker, spouse or a complete stranger in the car next to you because they said or did? You get upset,feel wounded and wonder why people can't be nice. To feel better you reach for the bag of M&M's you swore you wouldn't touch until you lost ten pounds. Welcome to emotional eating.

Emotional eating is a way to suppress or soothe negative emotions, such as stress, anger, anxiety, boredom, sadness and loneliness. Negative emotions can push the right buttons to make you hunger for the bag of potato chips or bar of chocolate in a nanosecond.

1. No Self Education

Understand the connection between mood and food. Why do our emotions make us run for the cake, ice cream and comfort foods that soothe us? Some foods may have seemingly addictive qualities. For example, when you eat enticing foods, such as chocolate, your body releases trace amounts of mood and satisfaction elevating hormones. Rewards may reinforce a preference for foods that are most closely associated with specific feelings. There is also the simple fact that the pleasure of eating offsets negative emotions.

Food can also be a distraction. If you're worried or anxious about something or are dealing with an unpleasant event, eating comfort foods may temporarily distract you. While you're eating, your thoughts focus on the pleasant taste of your comfort food. Unfortunately, when you're done overeating, your attention returns to your worries, and you may now feel the additional burden of guilt about overeating.

You can use this to your advantage. Knowing that a distraction can take your mind off the anxiety will enable you to substitute another simple activity to soothe you. Often people with anxiety use this type of self soothing to get through anxious moments. The best part is they can be simple things that allow you to zone out for a few minutes to let your body calm down. The goal is to have a strategy planned for when these emotions come up unexpectedly.

2. No Support System

Most people don't have a support system and having one built into your program is vital to your success. It can help you through those moments that make or break your control when your emotions would have you reaching for the donuts. Having a coach, buddy, family member to text, call and talk to can be the emotional release needed instead of stuffing them down with food.

Instead of plunging head first into a bag of cheese puffs another option to release your emotion can be accomplished by keeping a journal with you to write in it when you feel the need to vent. In addition, checking in at the end of the day with someone by phone or email is enough to keep you on track. Knowing that you will have someone to share your day with as well as the accountability factor is a great help. Being able to say that you handled the situation well verses you went to the drive through and had three happy meals, will build your self confidence each time you overcome the emotional urge to eat.

3. No Rules or Recognition

Sometimes you just need to make a non negotiable rule. Your rule can be- nothing goes into my mouth without me thinking about why I am eating it, is it because of an emotion or hunger? 'If I am emotionally eating I am going to eat a piece of fruit or small healthy snack or distract myself? Whatever your rule, stick with it without negotiations.

Learn to recognize true hunger. Is your hunger physical or emotional? If you ate just a couple of hours ago and don't have hunger pains, you're probably not really hungry. Give the craving a few minutes to pass. The average craving lasts 5-15 minutes, you can handle that.

4. No Trigger Identification

It is hard to avoid something your are not consciously recognizing. If you don't take time to identify what triggers you it is unlikely you will be able to put the breaks on it. For the next few days, write down what you eat, how much you eat, when you eat, how you're feeling when you eat and how hungry you are. Over time, you may reveal negative eating patterns and triggers to avoid. This is one of the most powerful tools to use.

5. Lack of Redirection

Redirection is used in many areas of our lives and it works but most people don't think to apply it when it comes to emotional eating. Start by thinking about other things you can do for comfort. Instead of unwrapping a candy bar, take a walk, go to a movie, get into a book or magazine, listen to music, take a bath, or call a friend, spend 5 minutes deep breathing to calm your body down and change your body chemistry. If you think that stress is propelling you at light speed toward the bag of Frito's, try talking to someone or research your unique ways to relive your stress.

Look to see what other people do when they get upset rather than turn to food. Some people like to clean when they get upset, because you get immediate gratification from it, some just recognize the incident as a negative give themselves a time limit to be mad and then choose to release the anger. Have a list of quick rewards that don't involve food handy so you don't have to think about what you should do.

6. Not Keeping it Clean

Many people keep unhealthy food in their house. Often because they say it is for their kids. The funny thing about this is that when our kids were infants we would never dream of giving them unhealthy formula, but now that they are older it seems that we buy them unhealthy food all the time. Don't use that as an excuse your kids need it less than you do because their body's are still growing. Don't keep unhealthy foods around. Also don't go food shopping when you feel hungry or blue, postpone the shopping trip for a few hours so that these feelings don't influence your decisions at the store.

7. Not Eating a Balanced Diet

If you're not getting enough calories to meet your energy needs, you may be more likely to give in to emotional eating. Try to eat at fairly regular times and don't skip breakfast. Include foods from the basic groups in your meals. Go for the whole grains, vegetables and fruits, as well as low-fat dairy products and lean protein sources. When you fill up on the basics, you're more likely to feel fuller, longer. Try having an apple before a couple of your meals studies show that people who consume an apple before their meal eat less.

8. Not Snacking Healthy

Most people don't put enough thought into their snacks. If you feel the urge to eat between meals, choose a low-fat, low-calorie food, such as fresh fruit, vegetables with fat-free dip, unbuttered popcorn or test low-fat, lower calorie versions of your favorite foods to see if they satisfy your craving. Your snack should be between 100 to 200 calories, not much more.

9. Exercise & Rest

People burn the candle at both ends. Get adequate rest regularly and you will consume less calories and have more control. Your mood is more manageable and your body can more effectively fight stress when it's fit and well rested. Study upon study shows that people who are tired consume more calories.

10. Lack of Emotional Release

People do not factor in the emotional elements of their day and how it effects their decisions about food. Many times the emotion that we feel is a trigger that makes us turn to food for self soothing. We find our mind chatter telling us that, 'We deserve it', because of something that happened in our day. You are feeling frustrated at something or someone. We all have a right to get upset. However, it is how we handle the anger that is important.

Recognize the anger for what it is and how you are reacting to it. Why? Because you are only hurting yourself when you put the food in your mouth, not the person or thing that made you angry. Learn to release the emotion, communicate your feelings so you can redirect the anger to be useful and not self sabotaging. The important word here is learn. This change in behavior is something you need to be conscious about in order to effectively change it.

When we are upset it may be difficult to stop our habitual reactions, so we need to S.T.O.P (Step back, Take a deep breath, Oppose the urge to eat and Pat yourself on the back) and empower ourselves with what meets our long term needs as a whole and not feed an non serving emotion? for the moment.

Mentally SLAM DUNK IT!