Relax! As hard as this is when you are hurting, it is ultimately the best thing you can do. When you are in pain and you fight against it you become more anxious and you add to your pain. Breathe deeply. Listen to soft music. Meditate. Pray. Get a massage. Talk on the phone. Do whatever is within your power to do what helps you to relax. Remember you are coping with grace. Find professionals who believe you, get the best medications or treatments that are available for you, and practice relaxing.

It’s difficult to relax when you are in pain. If you regularly practice relaxing, you will need to incorporate pacing into your day. You will probably decrease flare-ups and be better equipped to relax when needed for pain control. How do you practice relaxing? (You can use visualization, breathing, tapes, music, meditating, etc.)

Try to underschedule your time. If you think a work project will take three hours to complete, then schedule three and a half or four hours to complete it. If you finish and don’t need a break, you can be ahead of schedule. If you do need to go slower, rest or regroup, you can do so without stress. Use this at home, too. If you are picking up the kids and it takes 15 minutes to get there, give yourself 30. If traffic is bad or you need extra time, you aren’t stressed. If you get there early, relax! Listen to soft music, meditate, breathe or just enjoy the weather.

When you have a good day, remember to pace yourself and take care of yourself. I used to push myself too hard to catch up on things when I was having a good day. Often after a good day, I would collapse or consequently have several bad days. I would then feel depressed and start obsessing that I would never have another good day. I would focus on my fear that the last good day really was my last and gradually I would become more depressed. Eventually I would slowly start to feel better and then on a “good day" I would overextend myself again and the cycle would be repeated.

Now I try to take care of myself on good days too. I try to pace myself, gradually doing more over a period of good days instead of all on one day. Now, when I overextend myself or have a bad day or days, I try to be gentle with myself. I remind myself what I need to do and that better days will come. I encourage myself to be grateful and not to panic. I tell myself this is not a permanent decline but a temporary backslide. Better days are ahead.

Pacing is very important for people with chronic pain. It’s often hard for people without pain to understand this. To them you may seem fine and what you want help with may not seem like much to them. However, if you hurt and/or have fatigue, simple things can take a lot of effort. Ask them to encourage you to pace your activities and rest. Ask them to be understanding that something simple like a bath can take a lot out of you. You will function better overall with consistent pacing.