Your thoughts create your reality. All philosophies and religions teach this one basic truth. You become what you think about most of the time.

My friend Jim always had the worst luck with women. It was always the same: The first month or so would be awesome. Then according to him, the woman became psycho. Several of these women Jim saw abused drugs. At least one had outstanding felony warrants and was looking for a place to hide out. Most were abusive in some way.

"Why do I attract all the nut cases?" Jim asked me after a particularly dramatic episode. After all, he was a nice guy, good-looking, and made a decent amount of money.

My gut told me to find out more about Jim's relationship with his mother, the first woman in his life. What he told me made perfect sense.

Jim's mother was 16 when he was born. She abused drugs and alcohol, and passed young Jim off on friends and family whenever she could. He felt unwanted everywhere, and admits today that he thinks his mother was crazy. Unfortunately, this mindset now affects all his relations with women. Until Jim changes his way of thinking, he's doomed to repeat the same scenario indefinitely.

So, what do successful people think about that unsuccessful people do not? Why does success seem to come so easily for some, and so hard for the rest of us?

Stanford University posed these questions to many thousands of successful people, and their answers are all the same. Successful people think about what they want and how to get it. That's it. That's the big secret.

Unsuccessful people, on the other hand, think and talk about what they don't want most of the time. They talk about their worries and fears. By doing so, they bring many of these things to pass.

Unsuccessful people tend to blame others for their woes. They seldom have clear goals. Because of this, their energies are scattered, and they never seem to accomplish much.

To succeed, you must have written, well thought-out goals. The reason those who succeed seem to do so almost effortlessly is because, well, they do! Let me explain.

Having clear goals is about 85% of the battle. If you know where you're going, getting there is just a matter of following a few simple steps.

Clear goals focus your mind on what you want, and how you're going to get it. If you write them down and review them often, your success is virtually assured.