Money is the number one thing that married couples fight about. But do you realize that the tension surrounding money begins long before the happy couple say 'I do?' Wedding costs can rapidly escalate out of control which is why it's so important to begin the planning by devising a realistic budget. And once you've got the numbers crunched, it's equally important that you both stick to the budget.

And while a wedding budget doesn't sound all that glamorous, it doesn't have to be a bad thing. In fact, planning your wedding without a budget is almost guaranteed to land you into serious financial debt. What's the key to success? As it will be throughout your marriage, open, honest, two-way communication is an absolute must.

Couple need to be honest in their desires for the special day. While brides often assume that men don't really care, that isn't always the case. A marriage is a big change for a man too, and he also has his family to take into account when plans are made.

After the excitement of the engagement has died down a bit, it is time to spend some quiet time together to draw up some plans based on what each person desires from the day. In this case, each person needs to listen to the other person as well as talk. A list can then be drawn up of elements that both of parties want (to arrive in a horse-drawn carriage, lobster, renaissance theme, color scheme, etc.) and also what are necessities (photographer and videographer, caterer, flowers, rings, etc...). This will help in developing the final budget.

Number crunching is the next step once the tentative list of items is drawn up. First, the total amount that is currently available to spend (for example, in savings accounts, stocks/bonds, real estate, trust funds), and how much needs to be saved from each person's income, and how much help with expenses can be realistically expected from others. If the wedding date is a bit distant, it may be prudent to open a higher-interest bearing account to allow additional interest to be earned.

Don't make unrealistic estimates based on what others might cover in planning your costs. Whatever is contributed by friends or family should be accepted graciously. It would be immature to become angry or disappointed if the amount isn't what you hoped it would be.

When you know where the money's coming from and how much is coming, you'll know how much you'll be able to spend. Now make another list of all wedding-related expenses and allocate a dollar amount or the percentage you're willing to spend next to each item. This will help when you're actually contracting for these services. Remember that if you exceed your budgeted amount in one category, you'll have to scale back another so your budget will stay balanced. Because budgeting is so very important for most couples, you'll find that wedding budget worksheets, software and other tools are available everywhere, so go find one and start using it right now!