Men are most definitely the "fixers." Women tend to want to change men and men tend to want to "fix" women. From a distance, it is actually almost comical. However, if both partners back up a minute, stop fixing and changing and trying to manipulate all these grand little changes they would rather see, so much more productive time would come out of even the bad moments.
If you believe that you can fix you partner's problems then you most definitely think you have the power of super human capabilities. You just can't. Not really. You might have the power to make it better for awhile or tolerable, but you really do not have the power to change the world to make your partner happy. On the flip side, you can't fix your mate, either. Chances are pretty good that they aren't even broken. If you are thinking that you can fix them however, you are sending out the message that you believe that they are broken, and this leads to a very unhealthy relationship.
Fixing you partner's problems or addressing the everyday flaws that we were all saddled with is all in the power of the individual. If someone wants to change, they will. If they don't, well then, good luck. That is human nature and that is the most honest we can be with ourselves. Let's say your partner is upset. Stop fixing and just listen. Listen with complete attention. Stop multitasking and just listen. Repeat phrases and clarify as necessary to make sure you are really getting it, and then simply ask them what they want to do about it.
If you have been fixing your partner for awhile, your response might not be appreciated the first few times. However, you have the capability to just explain that you feel they are competent enough to find a solution. In just that one moment, you have two incredibly important things in your relationship. You have truly heard what is in your partner's heart and you have allowed them to take responsibility for their own actions, which makes them so much less victim"like it's not even funny.
Women do need to have a partner in the house and don't need to be turned into the house maid. If there is one element that you really can fix it is helping her out more so that she can put a higher priority on things outside of housework and chores. For men, there will always be a battle of the sexes when it comes to doing chores.
Men haven't been nurtured in their youth to be the most obsessive home makers. But what matters is the way you both feel at the end of the day. And I can attest personally to the fact that if you help out instead of "fixing" there is more time and more energy left when it is time for the lights to go out. That usually means that there is more time for a little fun at bed time.
The best relationships out there are ones that are based on mutual respect. When partners respect both the spoken word and the home front tasks, couples tend to be able to really communicate better and live together better than ever before. Long gone are the happy home maker days and here are the new age equality days.
