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Your Mysterious Inner Voice
Ann Golden Egle
'Change' is inevitable as are the 'voices of change.' Some voices are internal; others, external. The larger your change, the more voices appear. We all need a variety of voices in our world. Sometimes we need a devil's advocate, and at other times, expansive thinking. Deciphering which ones are valid in each instance makes you unstoppable.
Inside voices can be mysterious. Some may seem supportive yet are designed to hold you back. For example, while considering taking on a huge new account, the following voice may appear: "Oh honey, don't push so hard. You're fine the way you are."
Many internal voices are highly critical and make you feel rotten for even considering your change: "Who do you think you are? Why would they want to do business with a rookie like you? Remember that account last year when you failed miserably?"
Soft internal voices of curiosity, intrigue and creativity are the ones to value. I can make a list of all that I might need if I take on another client? I might change my appointments around, read that new book on management Brent told me about, and ask Thad what, out of his experience, might work for me. Yes, with focus and creativity I can do this."
It's key to take time to differentiate your conflicting internal voices. In moving fast, you allow simultaneous voices to shoot through your mind, which exhaust and confuse you. It's like trying to catch individual drops of water shooting out of a fire hose.
Frequently, the voices that come to us via others can be most challenging. Your experience has taught you who is trustworthy and who is not, correct? What about those whom you trust on a business level but possibly not on a personal level. Many of us don't take time to distinguish between the two.
The opposite is also true. We sometimes overlook the fact that someone not directly involved in our business or relationships can have priceless insight.
Below are four considerations when listening to numerous voices of change:
Slow it down. Enthusiasm is a natural by-product of change. We are enamored about all that's becoming possible and we want to proceed with whatever it takes. Once we get the thought in our mind, we want to move fast. While it is often necessary to act quickly, taking even a few moments of time to breathe and quietly listen allows clarity.
Listen intently: What tones are you hearing—cynicism, compassion, wisdom, jealousy, doubt, genuine support, inquisitiveness? Are these voices coming fast or through deep consideration? What is the true meaning behind the words?
Assess your feeling: The test of a relationship is how you feel when you walk away from an interaction. The test of a voice and it's message is quite similar.' How do you feel after leaving a conversation or processing something internally? What is your body telling you? Do your voices make you feel animated, keyed up, vigilant, passive or restless?
Write it down: Take time to evaluate the above keys in a quite place away from your normal daily activities. Go somewhere that's quite and peaceful to do your writing: a drive in the country, your own back yard after the kids leave for school, a church. Writing your thoughts down activates both sides of your brain for further clarity. It also slows down your thought process so you can see the simplicity you may have missed in your haste.
This week, notice internal voices surrounding changes you are considering. How can you master the art of knowing which ones to value? In what areas of your life are you unstoppable? Have a grand week and enjoy your discoveries.
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