Let's look at this more closely. When the relative above says "I wish", this person is indicating that 1) they have not made a decision to make it happen and 2) the ability to make visits more often is not within his/her power. To that, I say poppycock!

The decision to "make it so" is the key. Not the how, or why. For any goal, one just has to decide to it and then figure out how. The how will follow. To achieve a goal, it's crucial to decide to do it. It doesn't matter really how or whether you feel that circumstances are outside your control. The means to accomplish this goal will present themselves after you decide. Waiting to think about it or wish about it moves one no closer to achievement. .. and wastes time that could be used constructively toward the goal.

Ok, ok, Nike beat me to it....

To get what we want, we need to get rid of the words "would", "could", "should", "wish", "might" and replace them with "I will" or "I won't". There's no doubt that the Nike slogan has appeal: Just Do It!

If you look at the cause and effect decision making that we do for so many of our decisions, it's very simple: deciding to do it should be first, then how. How many times have you dwelled on making a decision because you started thinking about the how and got stuck? I have, a lot. Unless I take notice, this is the first place I go. It has kept me from taking positive actions more than once.

Many people are comfortable in their world of would, could and should. It's easier to make excuses for failure that way. No promises made to anyone (including oneself), just wishful thinking. Of course, like our daughter pointed out, it's almost always a failure mindset. Without commitment there is no action.

An easy example of this that we all can relate to is diet and exercise. Many of my friends wish they weighed less or "had a body like X". Deciding to get fit and eat right is the first step. The how becomes evident with a bit of studying and organization. Next thing you know... a whole new fit body!

So, it's more the wisdom of our grandfathers and grandmothers than modern science. It goes like this.

1. Consider decision and its impact to you and your important people

2. Decide to do it or not

3. Then, figure out how

I for one am working on replacing the "would, could, should" in my vocabulary with "I will, I can, I shall and you bet!". I have been amazed at the difference that one simple paradigm shift has made in my life. Just Do It!

Copyright (c) 2008 Ainsley Laing