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What Do You Do After You've Changed?
Ann Golden Egle
You've started your own dream business; have that new promotion and fancy title; are three months into your exercise regime, feeling stronger than ever and determined to never go backwards; are off the market since you've fallen head-over-heals in love.
It's possible that you specifically planned and persisted until your changes happened, or they might have been more instantaneous. Regardless, they've happened and you're elated. Now there's a new challenge? Your changes might be invisible to those around you?
I hear this often from clients who have brought amazing changes to their world: "Why does Phillip still treat me as if I'm the person I was six months ago? Doesn't he see how different I am today?" Why do your friends, associates and relatives still expect you to be readily available to hang with the gang, eat pizza, and go out with their friend with the great personality? Don't they know that you're a new person now? Doesn't it show?
In face, the folks around you won't see your new changes at all unless you take some steps to talk about them or to put them into action. Two obstacles prevent others from seeing and reacting to your valiant change:
They need proof. What is different about you? Just because you've made this change, how would those around you know to treat you differently? Great as they are, others in your world are typically far more concerned with their own lives than yours. If you want someone to treat you in a different manner, it is up to you to give them reason. We are constantly teaching those around us how to treat us. For example, if you want more respect, then give them a reason to respect you. Demonstrate in words, actions, body language, appearance, or heightened interest in them just how different you are now than you were before. Appearance is the fastest way to alter one's perception of you, though each one of these tactics has merit.
They need time and consistency. Your changes may have taken months, perhaps years. Be patient and simply wait for your associates to move down the path to where you are now. Your change may have been big news last week, but now it's a new week with other items on their agendas. And, they may either doubt or be threatened by your change. Patience allows those near and dear to you time to get comfortable with your new direction. Consistency proves that it is not a flash-in-the-pan modification. It is here to stay, and they can trust it, along with trusting the new-and-improved you.
The only certainly in life is indeed change. Take time this week to look around you. How have you changed, and what has brought about that change? What is changing in your workplace, social settings? Do you have the vision to foretell the changes you'll implement this year? How can you stay ahead of the game?
Imbue enjoyment into your process of change - both for who you see yourself to be right now and for how you envision the earth around you. Keep tweaking the small things to produce even more amazing results. Notice and acknowledge the changes in those around you. It really does behoove us to permit - no, to foster - change. Enjoy your discoveries and have a great week!
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