I moved this week and I was feeling very stressed about moving. This experience reminded me of how in the past I use to respond to stress. I was a ball of worry and anxiety and I remember feeling like a victim of my stress, as if I had no control over it. Now I have learned how to handle stress, one exercise that is so simple and effective I want to share with you. It is the little trick of taking deep slow breaths.

I know many other people who struggle with stress and how uncomfortable it can be always worrying. Stress is more serious than people realize. Not only does it affect you emotionally furthermore, stress has been related to causing many dis-eases in the body.

I feel stress is an important topic to discuss because it cuts off our self-expression and satisfaction in life. No matter how you deal with stress, whether it is keeping it all in or exploding, if you are not managing your stress it is managing you. When you are stressed you worry about a situation, usually the outcome. But what I have realized is that no amount of worrying affects the outcome. Psychologically stress gives you the illusion of a form of control however, it unfortunately is just an illusion therefore it is not real.

If I am stressed my thinking is unfocused, hurried, and in defense survival mode and I am not making clear sound choices. Deep breathing allows me to recognize this pattern and gain the awareness that my mind is making a bigger deal out of something than it actually is. Deep breathing calms me down and gives me an opportunity to think more clearly.

I have repeatedly stated in previous articles that we create the experience we have in our lives. Well the same is true for stress you can choose to be stressed or not. The problem is that from this point you have thought that stress was a reaction to something that you had no control over, which is not true. You may have an initial stress response to a situation but you can change your reaction and not get stuck in stress.

That may be hard to hear at first because you may think I have really important deadlines, illness or loss that causes me stress. It is not my intention to undermine the realities of these situations but stress definitely does not help you get your work done, cope with illness or loss better or faster. All stress does is limit your full experience of life. Stress pre-occupies your mind with the past and future and you lose the preciousness of the now which is peaceful.

Something else about stress you may not know is that you may get a payoff from being stressed that can make it become addictive. I used to get a high from being really stressed. Even though I did not like feeling stressed underneath I really did like the high and crash experience. Furthermore I did not have to take responsibility for a lot of things because I always had being "too stressed" as an excuse.

When I realized I was getting something out of being stressed I realized I was also losing something. The cost was my inner-peace, well-being, and satisfaction out of life. When I got present to that it made it a lot easier for me to try new things to help me release stress and stay peaceful like deep breathing.

Next time you feel really stressed and you are at a breaking point stop and breathe. Notice what your body is doing, is there tension anywhere? My hands clench and my shoulders get tight, those are clear signs for me I am stressed and I need to stop and relax.

You get a lot of power back when you stop and reclaim your inner peace and calmness as opposed to being at the mercy of your stress and overwhelm. Simple things like closing your eyes and taking deep breaths can give you a tremendous amount of power and freedom.

Your assignment: When you are feeling stressed or overwhelmed stop close your eyes and take 3 deep breathes. Check in with your body; is there any area of tightness or tension? If so, relax that area, which you can do by breathing into it or tightening it and then releasing it.

Copyright (c) 2008 Melisa Milonas LLC