I know that I have talked about setting boundaries numerous times before. However, since it seemed to be a recurring theme this week with some of my clients and myself, I felt the subject needed revisiting. Besides, everyone needs to put personal boundaries in place in order to protect themselves.
The problem is not that you can't set boundaries in your life, the problem is that you don't give yourself PERMISSION to set those boundaries. Not setting boundaries is People Pleasing at its finest. With that being said, let's take care of that root issue right now. If you've been waiting for someone to give you PERMISSION to set boundaries, then WAIT NO MORE! Here it is.
I, Cookie Tuminello, Personal Power Mentor, give you, People Pleaser No More, permission to create and set boundaries for yourself so that your life works for you. There! You now have someone's absolute permission to start putting those boundaries in place.
As you can tell, I'm very passionate about this subject. In life, the grass would be you and the stray dog would be the people in your life. If you don't have boundaries in your life, there are no guidelines around what's acceptable and what's not. Believe me, I can relate. I let people walk on my grass for a lot of years before I woke up, and frankly, I'd rather be the happy dog.
How can you tell if your boundary fence needs mending? Here are some questions to ask yourself:
Am I feeling overwhelmed, overcommitted, and overpowered? Am I taking care of everybody else but me? Am I feeling resentful because of it?
If you answered yes to the above questions, then your fence definitely needs mending. Take a look at where the major holes are and start plugging them up.
Get clear about what your boundaries are so that you don't leave your gate open. Make sure others are clear about what your boundaries are so neither party gets shocked or blindsided on your grass. Be committed to YOU first. Keep your fence electrified at all times if you have to, in order to keep YOU at the top of your list of priorities. With clear cut boundaries in place, you stop the people pleasing, take back your power, and create more peace and success in your life with more time to enjoy it all.
