My Mother's Day dream features a fluffy white duvet, baby kisses and cuddles, a relaxed breakfast in bed and a day let off domestic duties.

Should I dare to dream? I imagine many other women share this soft-focus vision but perhaps it never comes true. The reality is an over-excited toddler, a tea-stained duvet with bits of jammy toast stuck to it and a weary mummy. Daddy has done a runner and gone to play football against the local pub team.

We all have to face the fact that some dads are a bit useless. Tickling, cuddling and being the Daddy-Monster are no problem. It's just the really thinking about what their partner might appreciate that they find difficult. These five treats should get them on the right track.

1 You can't top making us cry. The power of a kiss, cuddle and a big smile from the children and their Daddy is amazing. Pregnancy, labour, lack of sleep, a different body or a lost career all pale into insignificance when your little one shows you that not only do they know who you are, but they love you too. A home-made card or cake has the same effect.

2 We also value being able to leave the house on our own and escape the family for a short while. A spa treatment, from a massage to an hour in a floatation tank or the whole weekend at a luxury hotel, is always a winner. It also suits any pocket. Lastminute features numerous offers around the country which you can search for by location. Special packages are available at luxury hotels in the von Essen group, some of which include activities to keep dad and the children entertained while mum relaxes.

3 Most mummies love to re-live their teens and get down to a bit of dirty dancing. The perfect opportunity to treat your lady and get some precious time together is to book a babysitter and a West End show with an overnight stay in a nearby hotel. As part of a London Theatre Break with Holiday Extras it costs from 119 pounds per person for tickets to Dirty Dancing with a night in a 3 or 4 star hotel including breakfast. You can add afternoon tea and a pre-theatre dinner to the package and really drive her wild.

4 Getting away for a few days is a real treat. If you want to take the whole brood, get searching for cosy guest houses, country cottages or luxury hotels that cater for families. The Enjoy England website has some great ideas, like staying in a lighthouse or a castle. For extra brownie points take her further afield and pre-book an airport lounge where she can relax before the flight.

5 Harassed mums really appreciate a tasty meal cooked and cleared away by someone else. It's a classic Mother's Day treat so book Sunday lunch at her favourite restaurant in advance. Daddies must remember that they are on child-feeding and restraining duty so that Mummy can eat her meal while it's still hot and maybe even enjoy a glass of wine.

My first Mother's Day passed me by slightly as I was still trying to get to grips with motherhood. This year I'm ready to enjoy every minute of it, whether it's a whole cup of tea in bed or a night in a castle.