His mother then sought to deny any contact between my son and I, for eleven months, while also seeking excessive settlement by accusing me of violence and my not wanting to be involved with my son.

It took two and a half years through the Family Court of Australia where I had to represent myself. No lawyer would take on the case as my ex had claimed physical abuse and there was not enough money left (after any settlement) for a lawyer to justifiably take the case on. When abuse is used as grounds for separation or divorce settlement may easily exceed 80% of available funds. Where children are involved within a settlement it is ?generally? accepted that if the case is going to court the ?resident? parent will receive over 70% of available proceeds.

I managed to achieve regular contact orders to see my son four times a year and disproved much of what had been put before the court by my ex.

Affidavits offered by several members of my ex's family were proven false before the actual hearing.

My son's mother attempted to hide the fact she earnt money, in her own right, (stating that I had so abused her she lacked any self esteem) as an advertising model after the birth of our son and not disclosed her earnings at all. When it was disclosed she changed her statement to one of my ?forcing? her to go and earn money (as a advertising model)!

The case was probably the single most traumatic experience I have encountered, combined with not seeing my young son and being alone in Australia as a new migrant. I had to learn much in terms of legal representation, finding a trustworthy and ?honest? lawyer who agreed to represent me on a pay as you go basis and with me representing myself at court.

The court case was transferred from Perth to Sydney so all hearings required interstate travel and self representation with time off work from a part time job and also having to get a work colleague to attend with me as a character witness, who also knew my ex.

It is now three years since Final Orders were handed down. While the contacts with my son go ahead as ordered I have also had to deal with the Child Support Agency over my High Costs of Contact, which the CSA refused and which I challenged over three years by finally having to bring a court action, against my ex rather than the CSA. This entailed dealing with Federal Govt. and lobbying for High Costs of Contact to be accepted by the CSA, who state on their website and in their information that they DO accept costs for contact but refuse to offer any details as to how many cases are accepted and in what context. Given my experiences I doubt that the CSA ?allows? many High Costs of Contact as their SCO's state that this invariably impacts on the ?resident parent's income?.

Even when the Australian government has stated that the Family Court of Australia is to adopt a position of presumed equal parenting I doubt whether this will be achievable where parents live interstate from their children. I am interested to know if anyone may know of any circumstances where (under Family Court Orders) any father has achieved equal parenting orders in ?ordinary? family circumstances.