People who resist help are communicating by action ? or inaction. Impairment because of stroke, dementia, vision or hearing loss, or other conditions can make it more difficult for older people to communicate with words, so their gestures and actions, including refusing care, speak for them.

What can you do when your loved one needs help and care, but resists? Here are some tips:

* Look at the environment ? are there conditions that are making the person uncomfortable such as the lighting, noise, or commotion? Try to make changes that create a comfortable, familiar, unchallenging environment.

* "Listen" ? with your ears and eyes and knowledge of the person. Do your best to understand what might be troubling him. Help with bathing and dressing may cause embarrassment, poor eating may be the result of difficulty with utensils or tooth problems.

* Speak calmly, keeping frustration and anger out of your voice. Your heightened emotions can agitate her.

* Take a time out for both of you. If you meet resistance on one subject, leave it alone for a while and move on to something you both agree on. Then build on those good feelings to deal with the difficult.

If you are working with an elder care service professional, ask your care coordinator to work with you to design a care plan that meets your loved one's needs. You want to work with a care coordinator who is experienced in working with elders' needs and will provide the compassionate, patient care they need.

To learn more about elder care services, please visit our web site at www.Dubols.com, or call (301) 497-8968 for a complimentary in-home assessment. Dubols is committed to excellence in elder care, for we know that your loved one's health blossoms with tender care.