I’m telling you affordable degrees are the wave of the future. Do you remember how when all your drone friends were slaving away at their universities with less money than the guy that sleeps in your hedges? Meanwhile, you laughed all the way to the bank every week with the sweet check you collected from the carwash? Well, its been awhile, since you’ve felt that sort of ability to condescend, but not for long. Lie to your friends and tell them that you’re going to your grandmas for week…and then return with a PhD!

That’s right, someone finally got higher education right. Instead of learning things…and paying someone to do it, you can just tell them what you’ve learned and then collect the appropriate degree. It’s genius and affordable. This exciting program also will only sideline you for five days. I know it’s a week and that’s pretty irritating, but depending on your current level of knowledge you can walk away from that week with an associate, bachelor, masters or even a PhD.

The only problematic aspect that I can see in the beautiful concept is that you need to know things in order to actually get your affordable degree in five days. I mean, I know a couple things. But Master’s Degree sufficient worth of things, that I can’t be completely sure of? I don’t want to just settle for a lousy Bachelor’s Degree. I need to go big. On second thought, these programs seem to be run by fairly reasonable people. I bet that if I promised them that I would learn enough things later they would accept that and give me the degree.

Well, I don’t know why I’m still here writing. I just wasted a fifth of the time its going to take me to graduate. So, if you want an affordable degree that could have you working in the United Nations in a week, get out there and start explaining to someone what you know.