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Ways To Tell A Guy Likes You

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“Hello,” you respond.



“I've missed you dear, how have you been?”

Let's say you're a lonely widower and you subscribe to an Internet messaging service such as yahoo or msn. You are approached by somebody named “sweet_natasha”.

She asks to be “added”, and you do so, thinking this might be the beginning of something interesting. You go through the initial motions of “hi, how are you, asl, where do you live,” etc. and begin to talk.

Regardless of what you tell them, you can say and do nothing wrong, and as you get deeper into the conversation you begin to get…emotionally…involved. They ask for photos of you, or want you to get onto a webcam.

At first you get flattery and sentimental expressions such as “how much they missed you” when you log on, and “when can they talk to you again” when you log off.

If you think this new found relationship seems to good to be true…it probably is…

A BRIEF HISTORY OF SCAMS

Scams are as old as mankind. Perhaps the earliest con job was recorded in Genesis when Jacob cheated Esau out of his birthright by disguising himself with a woolen shirt (his father was blind, Jacob was a “smooth” man and Esau was hairy). When his father Isaac, who was almost blind, felt the woolen cloak Jacob offered him, he thought it was his older brother Esau and gave him the family inheritance.

In the subsequent 5000 years or so, scam artists have continued to soak the unwary. Medieval con artists duped wealthy patrons into paying ransom fees to get fictional sons of nobility out of prison. Snake oil salesmen in the 1800's sold worthless, and sometimes dangerous, “cures”, and donations to non-existent charities and fraudulent investment schemes have been solicited through the Postal Service since it was founded.

BLINDING THE VICTIM

Various scams, including the now famous “Nigerian 419 Scam”, have found victims through email spam. In case you're not familiar with this particular hoax, it begins with a story about multi-millions trapped in a foreign country, usually an African nation, which cannot be retrieved unless you supply a bank account and money to pay off officials, fill out paperwork, and cover fees. Your reward is usually 20% of the gross amount, which will be deposited in your bank account. Of course, you must provide all of the account information to the scammer.

Others include “get rich quick” schemes, home based business pyramid scams, “become a representative of our firm” proposals -- too many to list here.

Most are based in the assumed avarice of the victim. When presented with an opportunity to make a lot of money with very little or no effort in a short space of time, it's hoped that the target will become so blinded they will abandon common sense and fall into the scammer's trap.

KEEPING UP WITH TECHNOLOGY

Scammers have kept up with technology, advancing from old fashioned “word of mouth” to mail fraud. In the late 1980's and 1990's through the Internet email “spam” came into being.

By obtaining email lists through various nefarious means, scammers are able to tell their story to an almost unlimited number of people. Spam blockers, however, have made this much more difficult, and scammers have found a new tool: Instant Messaging.

MAKING THAT VITAL CONNECTION

By posing as someone looking for an online dating relationship, or as someone looking for a legitimate employee or partner in a business, Internet scammers can use instant messaging to make a vital, personal connection with their targets.

Internet messaging allows the scammer to make contact with online chatters, and through nicknames like “sweet_natasha”, “lovely_beautiful_woman”, or “sincere_older_man” begin a relationship that is going to result not in just a lost identity or a raided bank account, but most probably a broken heart.

The African scammers, usually from Ghana, Nigeria, South Africa, and other countries, haven't quite gotten their technique down yet. For older men they will pose as a young girl looking for a husband in the United States with a sad story about how everyone in their household is married and they can't find a husband, or they are a “fashion designer” or a model looking for work, or some other, almost plausible story.

Women are approached with chatters bearing male nicknames, and may soon find themselves engaged in deep conversations with the most wonderful man they have ever met.

The technique, here, is to blind a lonely person with a fantasy relationship and hook them emotionally. Once the scammer is reasonably convinced the target has taken the bait, he or she will attempt to set the hook and reel them in.

In Part 2 of this series, I'll discuss some of the characteristics of instant messaging scammers and how to spot them.
Ways To Tell A Guy Likes You
“What's that?” you respond.

“You know how I said my father died a few years ago, and my mom lives in Nigeria?”

“Yes,” you respond, remembering her story. It had touched your heart, you have to admit. This poor girl seemed to have had a very difficult life.

“And, you know how it's good for people to help others who are not as fortunate as they are?”

You take the bait. “Yes, I know that. What do you need?”

“When my dad was forced out of office, he left a considerable amount of money in a bank account here in Nigeria, but my mom can't touch it unless she gets some help. We'd be willing to share it with you if…”

The warning bells should instantly go off in your head when this wonderful girl, who has been so supportive and has listened patiently while you pour your heart out, now needs your help. If you're a man, the protective instincts are triggered. If the person on the other end of the instant message is male, and you're a woman, you immediately want to rush to his aid.

This is the same Nigerian scam, but instead of hooking you with avarice, it hooks you with love and compassion for someone you have already formed a relationship with.

That, my friend, is why instant messaging is far more dangerous to the victim of a scammer than email ever was.

IF YOU CAN'T GET MONEY, GET INFORMATION

It's a rare instance when the IM scammer will try the Nigerian scam on you. Most of the time they will try to get information from you.

“I would love to call you, what's your telephone number?”

“What's your last name? “(Assuming you've already told them your first name.)

“I need to set up my own web site, could I use your credit card?”

They probably won't be dumb enough to ask you for your mother's maiden name, social security number, or bank information. At least not yet. Not until they really think they “have” you.

BEWARE IF...

1. The person is too romantic, too endearing, too flattering too early.

2. The person won't furnish a picture of themselves, or if they only have one.

3. The pictures they do provide look like they were taken by a professional photographer. A real person normally won't have professional pictures in their profile.

4. They have no profile. They claim to be an American but speak broken English.

5. They give you a “sob” story. The drama is meant to elicit compassion which leads to your wallet.

6. They ask for money, credit cards, or any information about you beyond your first name. Most legitimate chatters won't even ask for that.

7. They have a sudden crisis for which they need money. They have an automobile accident and have no insurance. A sudden illness and no money. This usually comes later in the game after they think they have you “hooked”.

8. They want to set up a cam, but when you set it up, you can't make out their face. Note: they want to see you, but they don't want you to see them.

9. They get annoyed when you engage in idle chit chat.

10. They can't answer detailed questions about themselves. For example, they claim to be a student, but they have trouble telling you what their major is and what their favorite class is and why they like it.

11. They can't describe the city or location they say they are from. Do a little internet research on the place they claim to live in. Ask them detailed questions about it.

12. If they give you an age, ask them something specific that someone in that age bracket would know (or not know).

BE CAREFUL OUT THERE

Instant messaging can be a lot of fun, and you can meet people from all over the planet you would never have known in real life. You can meet a special someone you might be happy with for the rest of your life.

It's a vast ocean full of many different kinds of fish, but just like the ocean it's got some sharks and barracudas in it. The sharks will make themselves known before they strike, if you know what to look for, and how to avoid them.

Know how to test the water and you won't be devoured by a scammer or an identity thief.
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