It isn't easy to survive infidelity, and everyone has to find their own way to overcome and move on. You will confront frustration, pain and grief in your own way, and your experience will no doubt be different than my own. Still, perhaps there are a few things we can learn from one another about how to endure when your partner cheats and dumps you.



Indulge yourself from time to time. Taking care of yourself is an important part of the healing process. It can be difficult to do this in a healthy way, because buying things and losing yourself in vices can get in the way of true coping and healing. But if you choose your moments, and pick events and objects of special significance, it can be very helpful. Things like jewelry and art don't have to be expensive, and yet can carry great positive meaning.

Remember that you are a worthy human being, and do not need someone else to make you complete. As much as I loved my ex boyfriend, I also have to recognize that I lost some of my own identity and values when I was with him. I have regained these by finding my own goals and inspiration again.

Remember, when you are at a loss for what to do if your mate cheats on you, your mate was the dishonest one. Being dishonest, first of all, by breaking your trust but more importantly by not being truthful about how they felt in the relationship. Let truth come to you.

Be joyful in the small things. I remember grinning from ear to ear, like a manic grocery shopper, when I reached for that glass jar of spaghetti sauce with mushrooms, something I could never buy because my boyfriend hated it. I made essential oils and filled my place full of soothing smells, something my ex used to call unnecessary odors. His stinky socks he would toss on the floor after work contained the real unnecessary odors, not my eucalyptus vanilla scented oil.

Never forget that there are people in the world who can help you. Don't be afraid to reach out to your close family and friends, and don't feel weak or guilty for leaning on them. This is when you discover the true meaning of friendship. If you have lost your social network in the break up, or don't have many close relationships, seriously consider therapy or a support group.

A break up can also be the start of new interests. Look into finding a new hobby, or joining a club. For me, it was knitting that became my new beginning. I joined a knitting circle and not only had the pleasure of learning a new craft, but also the joy of the friendships that grew up around my new hobby.

The loss of my relationship has brought about a new understanding of myself as I come to terms with my partner's infidelity. Surviving hasn't been easy, but it has opened up new opportunities and brought new joys to my life. Once you have gained some distance and perspective, use your new strength and insight to help someone else. This will help to complete your healing.