A few hours later, the drunk gets up to take a piss. He stands up, walks over to the bushes, hikes up his kilt, looks down and sees the blue ribbon. He thinks for a minute and says, "To be perfectly honest, I don't know how you got away, and I don't know what you did, and I don't know who you did it to, but I'm sure glad to see that you got first prize!".'



The vast majority of Scotsmen still choose to wear nothing beneath their , according to a survey out today. The survey of men north of the border revealed that 69 per cent of kilt-wearers prefer to "go commando".

Of the remainder, 14 per cent said they wore boxers and 10 per cent chose briefs - with 7 per cent admitting to falling into the rather ambiguous "other" category. One man admitted wearing a thong with a Batman motif. Researchers found that a large number of Scotsmen often made up their minds on the basis of how formal the occasion was. Many preferred to wear underwear for occasions such as weddings, while on less formal outings such as rugby matches they went without.

What about you? Do you where anything under your ? That is just your top secret but what to do with all those who want to get that information from you?

What do you usually answer to a curious ones when asked the most popular and 'favourite' question: What do you wear under your kilt? If you often have nothing to say or just to shy to replay maybe it is time to stand in front of the mirror and try some of those propositions of an intelligent responses:

How badly do you want to know?

How warm are your hands?

Me mother once told me a real lady wouldn't ask. She was right, God bless 'er.

My Scottish pride.

On a good day, lipstick.

Play your cards right and you can find out.

Tell me madam , would you go jogging without a bra? If so, where do you jog and when?

Sorry, I'm a bit shy and not much good with words. Give me your hand...

Talcum powder.

So which one do you like the most? Remember to answer with full confidence and right dose of humor!