How difficult can it be? Women know what they want in a man and we do our best to communicate that to the opposite sex but it seems many of them still go out of their way to do just the opposite. Or am I just meeting the wrong type of man? Or am I putting out the wrong bait? These questions perplex me day and night because it seems that even at the ripe old age of forty, the whole steady relationship with a normal man thing seems to allude me still.

Of course, women the world over are different and are often looking for slightly different things but I have to say, from all the women I have spoken to, we are, at heart, still quite old fashioned in a lot of ways. The whole equal rights stuff did a lot of damage to women in that everything went in reverse.

It's not complicated, guys. We want the same pay as a man if we do the same job. We want the same opportunities as a man whatever the circumstances. Many employers have discriminated against women because we 'have kids'. Well, news flash, men have kids too and should be as equally responsible if they are sick or off school.

That said, I would still like doors held open for me and dinner to be bought for me sometimes. I don't see those things as crimes against women's rights, I see them as courteous manners just the same as I would hold a door open if a man were following me through it and not just let is slam in his face. However, on such a simply subject, men are so afraid of getting it wrong that they go to the other extreme and many a time I've had an ignorant man let a door go on me.

So, that's the basics - equal pay for equal job opportunities and courteousness. I hope you're managing to keep up?

Next comes the more personal stuff. The sort of stuff that sets the men apart from the boys - or rather the posers apart from the normal men. The last thing I want in a man is one that is so vain he spends longer in the bathroom than me. Men are lucky in the respect that all they have to do is be clean. How difficult can it be? We don't want you preened to within an inch of your life or wearing so much fake tan that we need our sunglasses on just to look at you.

Neither do we want a man that loves himself so much, who thinks he is cool beyond words, to the point where he wears sunglasses indoors. That makes you look less cool and more like a complete prat.

When it comes to fashion, learn what suits you, take advice (ours) if you have to but above all else, keep it simple. Don't go overboard with colours or accessories and certainly not jewellery. Plain, muted colours in trends that actually suit your physique (your real one, not the one you wish you had). Trendy sunglasses will not only look nice but will show you care about your health but please don't go for the mirrored ones just so you can watch girls without being noticed. That's called being a letch and taking us for idiots and will get you dumped as quick as anything.

After the basics of physical looks and equal rights have been mastered comes personality. We love individualism, we do not love weirdness. This will be an area of trial and error but if in any doubt, do not display something that might be construed as an oddity until you are sure of your girl's affections. Only then might we be in a position to overlook them.

Above all else, be a man. Make decisions, take the lead, be manly, strong and powerful when it comes to dealing with many things but find a balance. No one wants a bully so practice listening, considering and yes, the dreaded talking. Protect, love and care for your woman without making her feel inferior and you will be on a winning streak.