I am sure that there would be many others with the same parenting problems as me. Today I had one child wanting to bend my household rules. He was dressed and all ready for school before 7 o'clock and was asking to go on the computer, even though it is against my household rules.



I felt obliged to say "yes" as he had done everything he needed to do. I wanted to reward him for putting in a great effort. That was fine until another one of my kids came along who hadn't done his chores, but wanted the very same privilege. He took one look at Kieren and said, "It's my turn soon so you will have to hop off".

Needless to say his brother was very unhappy. Even when I told Sam the reasons his brother was allowed on the computer, Sam still felt hardly done by. He loved the computer so much and he was busting his gut to get a go, at whatever cost.

I listened to the argument while I was working in the kitchen. Eventually I had to step in and help poor Kieren. I told Sam that he needed to stop arguing or he would miss out on a go later in the day. Alas, he decided to keep on complaining.

The end result was that I had to ban Sam from the computer for that whole day because he wouldn't calm down enough for me to reason with him. But that was his choice. He really had got himself worked up into a frenzy over not much at all. About this time Kieren bailed and left for school. Now there's a smart kid.

Sam jumped on the computer and started playing a game, totally disregarding my pleas to leave the computer alone. I actually had to usher him out the door to school as he tried to refuse to hop off the computer. He wouldn't budge until I turned the computer off on him. He was pretty angry.

We as parents and carers need to be aware that when children are angry they cannot think rationally about things. They will always need some time to calm down. So we should not try to talk to kids when they are in that frame of mind.

Sam is still at school now, but I think perhaps when he gets home he might have an apology to give me. I think by then he will have realized how stupid his thoughts were this morning, at least I hope so. and we will have a chat about it tonight sometime so that he can talk through his feelings. But he will not be on any computer in my house tonight, that's for sure. He needs to learn that his behavior was not acceptable, and I will teach him this by giving him a consequence of missing out on computer time tonight.

We can't always control how our children behave. But we can control our reactions to it. By giving Sam a ban on the computer today that will speak volumes to him about the inappropriateness of his behavior. And I have also decided to ring a counselor at school to see if there any courses or special training that might help Sam to learn to manage his anger in a more constructive way.

Parents, everyone has problems with their children sometime. And that's OK. I have four kids and there is always some drama at our house. What we need to focus on is the way we deal with the drama.