Pretty soon, you start to get angry. Even needy. And eventually, it wears you out. Rori Raye termed this "Overfunctioning", which may sound a little silly, but it's a great word when you think about how well it fits.



That means that you, as a woman, take up the slack for everything in the relationship that is wrong or that he is not doing. The thing is, men see the world differently than women do - and most men don't actually like it when we do things for them, when we baby them and take care of them. They want to be the masculine one - not feminized by being babied.

How it starts is by you wanting to show this man that you are capable of taking care of yourself. You DON'T want to be needy or clingy - you want to be strong and independent. Then it develops into you telling him how to do things orthat he is doing things wrong.

When this happens, the woman becomes the MAN in the relationship. The relationship then begins to atrophy because the attraction dies, which has happened because you are taking his role from him and leaving him with nothing to "be" inside the relationship.

That does not mean that men like women who have no brain or backbone. What it DOES mean is that he wants you to be you, and let him be HIM. If you take that role from him, it only kills the attraction, but begins putting YOU in the "friend-zone" - which is certainly not where you want to be if you are romantically interested in this fellow because the relationship becomes a male and male relationship, not man and woman.

Changing this is not impossible - and - it just may save your relationship. First of all - start being aware of what you are feeling when you do these things and why you are doing them. This will help you realize when you are about to turn into the "guy" and you can step back and remain the woman in the relationship.

Next - try to start seeing when you begin to feel negative emotion, about yourself or others. Why is this important? If you are feeling negative emotion about others, you may lash out. If you are feeling that way about yourself, you will more than likely try to soothe yourself afterwards, and that can come off as needy or clingy to a man.

This way you can begin to predict when you are going to act in ways that will hurt the masculine portion of the relationship. Start controlling this behavior and you will immediately begin turning your floundering relationship around.

You can also begin taking your cues from his actions. If you do or say something and he reacts in a positive way, by giving you affection or telling you he loves you, you know you are on the right track. If he reacts by withdrawing, getting quiet, breaking eye contact or any other sign of stress, you know that you are taking away from him.

Once you've become aware of the true dynamics within your relationship, you will be able to manage it much more effectively and end up having the relationship that YOU want.