This is far from the truth however, and is a cover for the real problem. Expressing emotions is never weak, it is the emotions themselves that show a weak side. So when someone expresses these sensitive emotions, they are exposed as frail and unsure. But instead of pushing outside their comfort zone, too develop strength and seasoning as men, they choose instead to conceal these emotions, never dealing with them, never growing.



The truth is this, the strongest of men, those most sure and confident in themselves, and most relaxed in any environment they find themselves in, are in reality extremely expressive of their emotions. Being unable to, or stifled in showing emotions, is actually a sign of weakness. When a person feels in control and at ease with their environment, they lose stifledness; they express whatever comes into their heads. And to communicate powerfully, to be able to lead and influences, requires emotional force of will. Think of any great speaker or leader, they used their ability to communicate through emotions to influence.

Scientists have said that nonverbal communication makes up 93% of actual communication between humans. So if a person hinders their emotional expressiveness, they hinder their ability to communicate.

At a certain point in their lives, men develop a certain gravity to their presence, a certain stoicism. Sometimes referred to as the strong and silent type. But this isn't faked, and people, especially women can spot the incongruencies in young men trying to act "hard" in a social environment. Men develop this from life seasoning, from having taken responsibility for everything in their life, working hard to develop it, and giving no one else the responsibility of making sure things in their life are worked out. So he deals with life issues with calm and reserve, knowing that everything in his life he's handled well and will full purpose and intent. But it's not always like this, he knows when to have fun, because otherwise what is the point to life? And he knows the others in his life that look to him for guidance because of his strength, need his emotional perspective, so he becomes positive and fun.

After years and years of mixed martial arts, and a career in the military, I have realized that the best thing for the people around me is for me to lead them into a better emotional state then they could possibly lead themselves to. This is healthy and gives people the best chance at expressing themselves in life to the utmost of their ability. Young inexperienced men do not realize this, and so act stoic or "tough" at the most inopportune of times. Either that or they go the other way and act approval-seeking and attention needy.