Playwright Oscar Wilde once stated: ?My great mistake, the fault for which I can't forgive myself, is that one day I ceased my obstinate pursuit of my own individuality.?



Wilde, born in Ireland in the 19th Century, would probably find it even more difficult this day and age in the new millennium unless, perhaps, he had the opportunity to have tea with Madonna.

It is a widely accepted fact of today's society that we are exposed and swayed on a daily basis by the subtle, and not so subtle influences of TV advertising, news media, and magazine and print. It is these influences that teach us we need to conform to certain trends and fashions, hugely impacting individual personalities and in some cases telling people that being ?accepted? demands following the latest fashion trends set by our size-0 fashion role-models, paying to have hairstylists work their magic to achieve the same cut as Hollywood's ing?nue du jour and religiously following the latest and greatest celebrity diets. TV shows such as ?Extreme Makeover?and ?The Swan? transform every day folk into stiletto wielding Barbie clones, with tens of thousands of dollars of invasive surgical treatments the majority of people would never even consider.

Women and men alike are constantly exposed to picture-perfect images of what the perfect woman should look like, images that ignore the rules of nature such as sun damage, wrinkling, and other natural signs of aging. It is these images that set the standard of beauty, leaving a target audience of women striving to achieve this ?natural beauty? in their lives.

There is certainly nothing wrong with someone who strives to look their best, but ask yourself ?Who is it that decides exactly what that means??

According to clinical psychologist Patricia Moscou, each of us must take an active responsibility and be aware of our own ?impression management.? This means thinking for ourselves and taking a conscious approach to everyday decisions such as hairstyle, hair color, make up, beauty treatments and fashion preferences.

Impression management isn't intended to encourage creating unhealthy obsessions with your look, it is simply the way YOU choose to present yourself.

Vogue magazine's former marketing director, Diana Lewis Jewell stresses that women and men alike need to be clear and understand exactly who is influencing our daily lifestyle decisions.

- Are you influenced by strangers you pass every day in public? People you don't even know, but somehow their opinions are held as an important influencing factor.

- Good friends naturally influence these decisions, however in many cases there is an underlying, subconscious competition to be the most attractive, or receive more attention than our peers.

- Employers or co-workers are often in a position of moderate to heavy influence already, so their opinions can play a vital role in deciding on hair color or fashion trends to follow.

- Family members can have intentional (protective) or unintended impact on fashion choices.

OR..... it is YOU? Are you the one who has control of your fashion and hairstyle preferences, do you decide what you like and why?

Dr. Kennon M. Sheldon, a psychologist at the University of Missouri?Columbia, has joined forces with researchers to discover exactly what actually makes people happy. It may come as a shock to learn that monetary status isn't number one. Neither is popularity or having the whitest, straightest teeth. According to their findings, the most important aspects of achieving happiness are self-esteem and autonomy. Feeling comfortable with, and endorsing, your personal choices. Unfortunately it can sometimes be an up-hill struggle to be aware of our own personalities, in a world where we are surrounded by strong opinions and influences.

When we talk of ?self-acceptance? we're not talking about a world where everyone rejects makeup and beauty treatments, self-acceptance means keeping an open mind, making the most of our natural beauty attributes to achieve personal satisfaction with your drawer full of makeup and your blow dryer... If that's what makes you happy!

In regards to hair, hair color and style, top stylists suggest you discover what works best with your natural texture, how to find a look that accurately portrays your individual personality. A good example we see every day is the mystery of curls. Many women born with curly hair go through a never-ending battle with hair straightener's and harsh chemical, instead of embracing the unique look and personality boost that can easily be achieved with curly hair. If you don't like your curly look, ensure this is your personal choice, not a choice effected by what you see every time you turn on the television or open the tabloids.