Relationships are unique as your fingerprints, so only you can write the rules that make you happy. The mistakes that follow can break a relationship. But use them correctly and they can actually make it stronger.



Issue an Ultimatum

An ultimatum is non-retractable so use with care and stick with it. It's a statement that shouts, ‘I respect myself', but you also have to respect your partner by being very clear about what it is you want and why. Using an ultimatum as emotional blackmail if you aren't intending to follow it through is a big no-no and you will weaken your position in future. Avoid this at all costs.

Let Yourself Go

Although it's not a good idea to become too lazy about your appearance, there's a world of difference between allowing yourself to relax a little and letting your leg hair grow six inches. In the first flush of love it's normal to never want your boyfriend to see you without your mascara on, but if a few months down the line you're still going to bed in full makeup with him and getting up at 3am to retouch it, it's time to let yourself go a little. Chances are that if you're trying this hard to be perfect, you'll be uptight in other areas of your relationship, too.

To get it right, you need to ask what he likes best about your appearance and then make sure that's not the thing you let go. You may be pleasantly surprised and find that the perfect makeup you slave over is not his thing at all. Apart from the few men who think all women are born with a Brazilian wax, many like to see us for what we really are.

Make Him Jealous

If your partner's indifference is making you feel down, or invisible, it may be time to remind him of what he has. Making him jealous is about showing him how fantastic you feel, regardless of his indifference. Have your hair done or buy a new outfit. He'll wonder what you're doing it for and his competitive instinct will kick in. Go out and let him see the attention you're getting. By the time he gets you home, he'll' feel like the luckiest man in the world.

However, this action is to be used with caution. All flirting should be done out in the open and don't flirt with his friends or involve a third party hoping information will get back to your partner. Never, ever do this if you know your boyfriend struggles with insecurity – you're still a nice girl after all.