You see a beautiful woman in a grocery store. She smiles at you suggestively. So you move in closer to flirt with her.



You stand next to her in front of the ice cream cooler and make eye contact. She smiles, looks away, your eyes meet again in the reflection from the glass. She turns and says, ?Hi, I'm Candy.?

You yell ?MY NAME IS ANDY. WILL YOU MARRY ME? I'M ONLY GOING TO BE STANDING HERE FOR A LIMITED TIME, SO YOU MUST ACT QUICKLY. LOOK, ALL YOUR FRIENDS ARE DATING ME, AND SOME PEOPLE YOU REALLY RESPECT, HERE ARE THEIR NAMES AND COMMENTS.?

She rubs her ears and says, ?Uh, hi.? And starts to back away.

Stalker that you are, you follow her and continue your pitch.

?IF YOU'RE NOT READY FOR MARRIAGE, LET'S TRY A TEST MARRIAGE DURING A TRIAL PERIOD CALLED A DATE! IF YOU GIVE ME YOUR PHONE NUMBER, I WON'T SELL IT TO MY FRIENDS, HONEST. ACT NOW AND I'LL TAKE YOU TO FRIDAYS.?

?Maybe we should start ov-? She's willing to give you another chance but you just can't shut up.

?OH YOU WAITED TOO LONG, NOW ONLY SUBWAY IS AVAILABLE. HURRY OR WE'LL GO TO MCDONALDS. BEFORE YOU GO, CAN YOU PLEASE TELL ME WHY YOU'RE NOT MARRYING ME RIGHT NOW? WOULD YOU BE INTERESTED IN MARRYING ME LATER??

Okay, that's an extreme example, but think about it. How many of us either market that way, or have bought something from someone who markets that way?

I don't know about you, but I automatically don't trust people who market like they are used car salesmen. I am on my guard instantly even if I'm really interested in what they're selling. Then I start thinking of all the reasons why I absolutely do NOT want what they have.

Honestly I never thought about it before I wrote this article - but that's so true. If a person makes claims it doesn't appear they can prove, I'm instantly wary of them.

Think about how often you use some similar marketing tactics in your sales copy, on your site, or in your blog. Think maybe if you flirted a little with your audience and readers first, did something nice for them, paid attention to their needs, you'd be more popular?

Now, I know you need to sell the sizzle and not the steak. But it helps dramatically if the steak is actually the one you're cooking, and not one you hope to make some day!

I've tried both ways. Turns out you need only a dash of flash in your sales letter if you take your desired customer for a steak dinner prior to bumping uglies the first time. And just like in dating, if you maintain a good benefits balance in your relationship, they'll be back.

Of course, if you think it's smart to have a series of one night stands, more power to you. Me, I'd rather be up front and serially polygamous with my customers than fake monogamy just to get them into bed the one time. Don't know about you but I'm building a business not a brothel.

So I don't market like that either. Maybe it costs me customers in the long run, but it also scares away the fence-dwellers, lookie-loos and people who aren't serious about their business. People who want a lot of hype and are allergic to actual work rarely buy my products.

So having realistic expectations ends up carving me out a nice little niche. The payoff is better customers, who more often become clientele. I'm popular in my little area, though no, I'm not a household name.

But I also have a loyal, almost fan-like following of business people who continued to solicit my services even after I semi-retired.

So am I some kind of genius for having figured this out? Heck no!

What, you think I came up with this stuff? People have been trying to tell you this for years. They just lack the finesse of someone as conceited and charming as I. :)

The biggest lesson I learned in marketing products I created online was that it doesn't always have to be the invention of something new and ground-breaking - if you wait for the most divine intervention, you'll never make any money.

In the meantime, it might help to think of it this way: you have knowledge your clients want, and you're doing them a disservice by not giving them the chance to snatch it up. When you lead off with that knowledge, the way you com across to your clients totally changes. For the better.

This is true whether you create your own products, resell other people's products, are an affiliate marketer, or sell advertising on your site.

To apply this concept to marketing, remember that there is a point of merging between your style of attracting a potential customer and making a sale, a point at which you take your own style and join it with what you've learned from other people.

If you want to be a lady's man, do you study someone who never gets a date? That would be dumb. If you want a relationship, do you ask other single ladies for advice on how to handle your man? Equally stupid.

Decide what your identity is, and think about what works on You.

Learn about it. Take all those elements and then add you. The same way Andy in 40 Year Old Virgin took the best bits of all the advice from his friends and through trial and error, found what worked for him.

You'll find that there's no need to follow the way of the hype machine.