For all you girls huddled somewhere cold and landlocked, here are some fabulous reasons why you should never, ever think of going on a women's surf camp. I mean, seriously, why would you want to go to a women's surf camp when you can stay on your couch in your living room doing the same old, same old? Those old reruns on TV are pretty riveting aren't they? I personally love the thought of watching Friends again, right from the very beginning.



Who wants to get on a plane and go somewhere nice and warm and tropical? Who wants to participate in a women's surf camp week with yoga? If I haven't managed to convince you yet that your next vacation should be spent in your living room, preferably still cooking meals and cleaning for the rest of the household, then here are some other excellent reasons to not attend a women's surf camp.

1. You Will Get In Shape.

Who wants to lose a few pounds and shape up? What a horrible thought! I kind of like my flabby bits on display in my bikini. Getting toned muscles and a fantastic physique is certainly not on my agenda. I definitely wouldn't want to wow all my friends with a new figure and great looking arms. I welcome the middle age spread and the couch butt, even if I'm not middle aged yet. Going to a women's surf camp and doing surf and yoga for a week could really banish some of that cellulite. Doesn't ironing help with flabby arms?

2. You Will Make New Friends.

Who has time for new friends? Who needs new friends? Especially ones with similar interests. What a drag having more people to e-mail Christmas and birthday cards to. Imagine having a new set of friends who would like to go to the same sort of places as you for your next vacation.

3. You May Quit Your Job.

Aren't you happy complaining about your boring job and your awful boss? Why would you want to go to a women's surf camp and risk being inspired to change your life? I recommend sticking with the terrible job and being miserable. I mean, how many more years before retirement? What have you got to lose?

4. All your Vacations Will Be Surf vacations.

Once you get the surfing bug you will want to travel to places with beaches and sun and surf. Why would you want to put yourself through that sort of misery? Where would you rather vacation, Hawaii surf or cloudy London? Why would you want to pack a bikini in your luggage when you can just as easily force in a rain coat, umbrella and thermal underwear? Spending the rest of your life in surfing locations sounds really grim. Too much nice warm sparkling blue water for me. Give me smog, clouds and crowds any day.

5. You Will Get A Leash Tan.

How inconvenient. That strip of white skin around your ankle that proves you have been off at a women's surf camp and having fun. People might think you know how to surf.

6. You Might Develop A New Interest.

Isn't your day already full enough with cooking and cleaning for others? Why would you want to have an interest of your own? Don't you have some shirts you can mend or some ironing to do? Multi-skilled women are not meant to be self indulgent creatures with their very own hobbies. You might start getting inspired to do other things outside the home.

7. You Might Not Want to Ever Go Home

You could easily enjoy yourself. Who needs to chill out? Who needs to be self indulgent while they get their massage? Who needs someone else to cook them three nutritious meals daily? Why would you go to a women's surf camp for all those things when you can easily cook, clean, shop, and care for others? Why would you want to have a break? Especially a vacation involving wellness, surf and yoga.

You can see how disastrous attending a women's surf camp could be for your physical, mental health and well-being. Having someone else cook you three nutritious meals daily, taking surf lessons, receiving a massage and practicing yoga daily can be a bit much. Stay at home and catch up on the ironing (and the housework, and the reruns). Leave the women's surf camp for someone else. The palm trees are not beckoning you, that is your boss, partner, and day to day life calling you. Are you going to answer?