If you talked to a lot of people in successful marriages, the variety of ways, places and styles that they got engaged is just amazing. But two approaches to getting engaged seem to dominate. The first style involves a situation where the man pops the question out of the blue with no preparation because he is swept away with her charms. The second style is the one we see in movies the most where the guy is totally prepared and planned out how he is going to ask the girl of his dreams to marry him.



So what is ideal if you have it in your mind to propose is the best of both types of engagements? You want the feeling of spontaneity and romance so your lover is also overwhelmed with the emotion but you want the advantages of planning ahead so you are in complete control of how you pop this very important question, even if you are not completely in control of her answer.

Thinking out what words you will use to ask her this important question is always a good idea. For one thing, will you used the tried and true "will you marry me" or will you have a speech prepared that spells out your feelings in detail. You will want to have a good idea of what you want to say so you can include that planning in with your ideas for giving her the ring and even where you will ask her and your vision of the atmosphere at this perfect moment.

A lot of how you "compose" that question will be influenced about whether you are going with a surprise or if by the time the actual question comes out of your lips, she is already aware of what is happening. If you go with the traditional image of a man on one knee before his bride and particularly if you propose to her in front of others, the tried and true of "will you marry me" is an old reliable.

But keep in mind that this will be a moment she will cherish for the rest of her life and the story of the night you and she pledged to become lovers for life will be repeated in stories to friends and even to your kids and grandkids for as long as you two are together. Keep in mind also that you will probably be a little nervous so you don't want your planned speech to be so flowery and elegant that it isn't even how you talk.

But you can make that sweet moment when you take your love for her to the next level by asking her to be your bride very special with some well chosen words. If you have strong feelings of love and romance that come up and overwhelm you often, and who doesn't when it comes to the woman who will be your bride for life, you may gush your feelings in a speech that could resemble something Shakespeare might write. Just keep in mind that if your preface to popping the question is long, she will be dying of anticipation and keeping her like that too long might start to wear on both of you. So if you write out how you want to ask and it takes five minutes to say it all, some editing might be in order.

You might write out several versions and pick the one that flows the best. This is your moment so you can make it personal and ask her in just the right way that fits the way you share romantic thoughts all the time. If the words come from your heart, even if they are not Hallmark card quality, they will sound like the best poetry ever written to the girl who loves you. So feel free to adapt the question itself with a personal expression such as "Sweetie, it's not possible for any other girl to make me happier so please be my wife." Those words will become gold to her ears because they will pass all the romance you feel to her and become words she will always remember.

The good news is by thinking this through now, you are going to do a great job when the time comes to make her your bride. By reviewing how you want to say it and even practicing it a bit, you will be much more confident that your wedding proposal is just right for this girl you want to make your own and that her answer will be the one you are hoping for.