Break Your Bad Relationship Habits



They say that we have a certain preference; when it comes to shoes, clothes or even our partner. Look back at your slew of significant others. Notice that they have a bind tying them altogether. It could be they're all artists or they're all lean men. Whatever the similarity, chances are, there's something similar about their personalities too.

The ironic thing is that it is so difficult to simply end a relationship despite the fact that you are aware how bad it is for you. A bad relationship is defined as continuously involving frustration from both parties. It may seem to have a potential but the problem is, it's so unattainable.

Here's a clear example of a bad relationship habit. If you find yourself pining over someone who is clearly unavailable, and it is a pattern, it only goes to show that you are addicted to this kind of bad habit. You are attached to one who is unattainable and this isn't something you need to do over and over. This will only make you more lonely, desperate or angry.

Bad relationships are when the two people involved in it possess different ideas and they don't come from the same place. There is a lack of communication and they no longer enjoy each others presence.

If you choose to remain in such a discordant and disruptive relationship, you are obviously addicted to it. You are only harming yourself on an emotional level and sooner or later, you'll suffer from stress which will gravitate to physical pain. The tension between you and your partner will clearly affect you; emotionally and physically, and sometimes even mentally.

You'll know that you've hit a downward spiral if you can't cut off from the relationship completely. In order to escape it (for a short time), you resort to alcohol or drug abuse. If addiction to a bad relationship attachment isn't remedied, it sometimes results in suicide attempts.

Here are signs that you are addicted to disruptive and discordant relationships.

1. You are aware that the relationship is bad for you but you don't do anything to end it.

2. You give reasons for staying. These reasons aren't exactly accurate because they aren't enough to rebut the harmful side effects of the relationship.

3. You feel anxious whenever you think of ending the relationship. Anxiety leads to fear which makes you cling even more.

4. You suffer withdrawal symptoms such as physical discomfort when you start to end the relationship. It is painful for you and the only cure for the pain is to contact the person again.

If these scenarios apply, chances are you are in an addictive relationship. Ask yourself whether you can take full control of your own life. If your answer is no, then you must do something about this as soon as possible.

The first step is acknowledging that you are addicted. By knowing this, you can take the necessary steps to slowly detach from the destructive relationships.

People inflicted with bad relationship addiction often wonder about the basis of the addiction. There are a lot of factors influencing their decisions to stay in a relationship even though it has gone from bad to worse. These include financial issues, living quarters, impact on the children, disapproval from society and disruption in plans.

You can overcome bad relationship addiction by:

1. Making recovery the most important priority.

2. Becoming selfish and focusing on what you need.

3. Bravely facing and handling your problems, as well as your shortcomings.

4. Acknowledge what you must develop and work on what you deem negative about yourself. Make room for personal improvement.

5. Focus on your own needs and not the needs of others. By doing this, you'll be more secure and won't need the help of others.

6. Make time to develop your spirituality. Try to find whatever brings you serenity and peace. It may be just for 30 minutes but it can help you relax.

7. Once you notice that you are becoming involved in that kind of relationship again, fight back. If you feel that you're heading that direction, turn the other way.

8. Be in a circle of people who understand your situation. Turn to a friend who can empathize.

9. Share what you have experienced and what you've learned with others.

10. If you feel that you can't do it alone, get professional help.

Mind Your Relationship

Happy New Year 2008

Brian Billes