I have decided to start a blog, not as an attempt to document what is going on externally in my life and travels but rather as to reveal what is happening internally in my heart and mind as I perform my devotional service to Srila Prabhupada. Sometimes I will refer to external events as a means to reveal my mind and heart to the devotees who wish to follow this blog. The writing may be a little rough at times as I will attempting to write "stream of consciousness" more than in a documentary style, so I ask the readers to please bear with me in this.



When I first joined the Krishna consciousness movement in 1971 my primary focus was to get out of this material world and live in the spiritual world without any experience of the threefold miseries and birth, death, disease, and old age. Since that time my desires have certainly morphed (hopefully gotten better!). At this point my primary focus is in how to increase the number of Krishna conscious people and how to deepen relationships between devotees so that we are interacting in a true loving way, rather than in terms of our roles in society or in terms of the rituals that we follow. I have been constantly praying to Krishna and Prabhupada to deepen my own compassion so that I can accomplish this.

In my interactions with devotees I have noticed that generally we have official relationships that are typified with stereotypical language. In other words the depth of relationships is not so great. This of course leads to heavy conflicts between the devotees rather than loving relationships. Srila Prabhupada states in the Nectar of Instruction that our movement progresses because of loving relationships, so if we are unable to deepen our relationships, and find difficulty in expressing our feelings and needs, it is unlikely that the society of devotees will increase in a real way-and I am not just speaking about numbers of devotees or numbers of temples or big buildings that are being constructed.

As I stated in my Vyasa Puja offer to Srila Prabhupada this year, my meditation on Radha and Krishna and prayers have been focused on developing true love and compassion for all of Krishna's parts and parcels. Every desire tree that I approached during my visits to Vrindavan and the other holy places have heard this supplication from me. This Sankalpa (intention, desire) is inseparable from my desire to please Srila Prabhupada. I know that Srila Prabhupada will be very pleased with me if I can bring souls who are actually deeply committed to his lotus feet. In order to do this I have to be able to reflect Prabhupada's compassion, which was what drew me to the Kcon movement.

My realization is that in addition to praying for compassion one must consciously practice it. For example whenever I perceive someone opposing me or expressing negativity towards myself or my actions, I make that person a special object of my compassion and pray intensely for that person. This is helping me develop the Vaisnava quality of Ajata Satrava (not having any enemies but being a well wisher towards everyone).

As we know Prahlad Maharaja rejected the concept of friends and enemies that his teachers were attempting to get him to accept. Rather he saw all living entities equally (yas tu sarvani... -isopanisad). In fact his father who was attempting to kill him was the special object of Prahlad's compassion. I am very inspired by Prahlad's quality of forgiveness and love for all living entities.