So, the day has finally arrived. You've earned it. You've fantasized about it. You're expertly qualified which is why you've been selected for the job. But you walk into that executive suite and start to sweat. Yes, you want a seat at the table, but now that you have one, do you really know what to do?



As a communications coach, I earn my living teaching others how to talk. But talking doesn't always translate to leading, which many of us learn early on in our careers. As a television reporter in Philadelphia some years back, I recall receiving a phone call from my son's daycare as I was about to leave for work. They said he was running a high fever and I needed to come get him. But on that day, I had no one to take care of him which is what I explained to the executive producer when I called. Expecting her to understand, she politely said "that is not our problem and we expect you at work." Terribly upset, I told her that wasn't possible and there was nothing I could do.

After a tense silence, she said well there is something you can do. You can hang up and call back. Tell whoever answers the phone, that you are running a high fever and can't get out bed and don't mention that we spoke. Then she hung up. It was at that moment I realized sometimes leading is about what you don't say because quiet understanding can make you seem more real.

In today's business world like the current political landscape, employees will tell you they are clamoring for authenticity. They will also tell you that what management says or doesn't say affects morale as much as decision making which is why communicating early and often is essential when leading.

Communicate Early and Often

If you aren't talking, that means someone else is. In the absence of information, rumors take over. Rumors aren't simply repeated; they're typically refined and embellished so they can fill in the blanks that aren't being communicated. For example, are pink slips being handed out? Is the company being sold? In today's world of instant communications and social media?office rumors can hit the internet at lightening speed sending what you could have controlled completely out of control.

Empower Through Questions

In his book The First 90 Days, Harvard Business School Professor Michael Watkins recommends asking questions that will elicit information to help you create strategies for success. Specifically, "If you were me, what would you focus attention on?" These are open-ended questions that create dialogue and enable leaders to reach out, collect various viewpoints and encourage others to express themselves so they feel their voice is important. It doesn't mean you seek input on every decision, but questions like these encourage collaboration and prevent an atmosphere of us vs. them: What's your opinion? What do you think we should do about it? What do you think should change? What are your biggest concerns? In your experience...? Say What You Don't Know How you communicate during your first days on a new job tells others what you're about. Remember, the organization searched long and hard to fill your position and you have a seat at the table because you have something they need. But it's okay not to know what you don't know. Kung Fu Tzu (Confucius) said: "When you know something, say what you know. When you don't know something, say that you don't know. That is knowledge." This allows you to understand so you can effectively gather information before participating in the conversation.

Once you do join in, think about the headline to avoid making listeners work too hard to figure out what you're saying. For example, an executive trying to convince investors to strap in for a rocky ride that was would be worth the results, spent six minutes (I clocked her) delivering background information before focusing attention on what her listeners cared about. Finally, she said: "This is an exciting product with great potential to address a huge unmet need and we have a strategic plan in place to hit 1 billion in sales in 2008."

When you fail to deliver headlines up front, not only do you risk tuning people out, but you undermine your own credibility. Instead of touting how you did things in your last job or delivering data dumps, keep your communications short, direct and to the point. People are bombarded with so much information that according to an article in Presentation Magazine, our attention spans have actually dwindled because we can't handle it all.

Dare to be Different

It's equally important to differentiate between listeners or you risk treating everyone the same way. Sometimes, this is a simple as thinking in terms of expert or non expert. If you are speaking to team members about a new product, they may want to know about competition, safety data and strategic planning. Yet, if you ran into your neighbor at the supermarket, she might be more interested in side effects, benefits and how it differs from what is already on the market. So before you speak, ask yourself two questions: Who am I talking to and what do they care about?

Make Others Feel Important

Just because people know you doesn't mean they aren't watching you. In any new role, you should greet everyone you meet with direct eye contact and enthusiasm to make them feel you are approachable and genuinely interested in their success. That means in your hurry to move on and tackle your to do list, you must focus on what they are saying. In an article on communication and leadership, Donald Clark explains that in the mid 1960s, Paul Ekman studied emotions and discovered six facial expressions that almost everyone recognizes world-wide: happiness, sadness, anger, fear, disgust, and surprise. But when he first presented this to a group of anthropologists, he was booed off the stage, yet today it's widely accepted. However, a controversy regarding the amount of context needed to interpret these emotions still lingers. For example, if someone says they have a great idea and you agree, but frown at them when speaking, does that mean you don't really think it's great? Or, were you just thinking about something else? Giving off extra signals can create confusion instead of context.

Finally, think back to your own experience to help you lead. Perhaps you had a boss who put you down or worked with someone who didn't seem to value your input. When you make the people around you feel that their opinion counts, you make them feel important and when you make people feel important you create a climate of trust and mutual respect.

Copyright (c) 2009 Karen Friedman