Hey well all right sir, open the gate   Let'em out and walk'em boys   Here we come with lot number twenty-nine   What are you gonna give for the little fella      Well there was a boy from arkansas who wouldn't listen to his ma   When she told him that he should go to school   He'd sneak away in the afternoon and take a walk and pretty soon   You'd find him at the local auction barn   He'd stand and listen carefully until at last he began to see   How the auctioneer could talk so rapidly   He said "oh my, it's do or die, I've got to learn that auction cry   Gonna make my mark and be an auctioneer"      Well the time went by and he did his best and all could see he did not jest   He practiced calling bids both night and day   Til his pappy found him behind the barn just working up an awful storm   As he tried to imitate the auctioneer   His pop said "son we just can't stand to have a mediocre man   Selling things at auction using our good name   Gonna send you off to auction school and then you'll be nobody's fool   And you can take your place among the best"      And from that boy that went to school there grew a man who played it cool   He come back home a full fledged auctioneer   And the people would come from miles around   Just to hear him make that rhythmic sound   That filled their hearts with such a happy cheer   And his fame spread out from shore to shore   He'd all that he could do and more   He had to buy a plane to get around   Now he's the best in all the land, let's pause and give that man a hand   For he's the best of all the auctioneers