Columbia's unwound   If it gets any worse   Gonna have to go down   Get me some military training   Embark on a little mission   Slap some bicycle together   Got to get the ball rolling   Let's just say   Got to wrap some roses   Snug in a tortilla   Got to pay a little visit   To Fatty Carmello   Helps keep the classical   Up on the radio   Hell, I can't help it   If God don't walk here   Everytime I want to work   But maybe if my bed is made   Or I cast a vote   Take it easy on the wino   Or give up the smoke   Ole Fatty Carmello   Ole Fatty gonna be broke   And I can just use   What's laying around the house