Pre>   Intro c c c g bb f c g bb f      C g bb f c g bb f   No more pretending now, the albatross is dying in it's nest c g   The company is crippling me, bb f am am   The worst trying to ruin the best, the best   Bb c   Their promotion's so lame   Bb c   They could never ever take it to the real ball game   F g   Maybe they think I'm a pet   F   Well I've got all the diseases g g g   I'm breaking out in sweat, you bet, because      Chorus   C g bb f   I got, mercury poisoning   C g bb f   It's fatal and it don't get better   C g bb f   I got, mercury poisoning bb c g bb f c g bb f   The best kept secret in the we--est, hey the we--est         The boys and me are getting real well known around town   But every time we try to spread the action   Someone always brings it down, down   I ate the orange and I don't feel well   For them it's inconvenience for me it's hell   The geriatric staff think we're freaks   They couldn't sell kebabs to the greeks, the geeks   Inaction speaks, and      Chorus      Bridge   Am g am g   Is this a russian conspiracy, no it's just idiocy   F g   Is this a chinese burn   Am g am g   I gotta dinosaur for a representative   F g   It's got a small brain and refuses to learn      Bb f g   Their promotion's so lame   Bb f g   They could never ever take it to the real ball game   F g   Listen I ain't a pet   F g   I ain't a token hipster, in your monopoly set g   You bet because      Chorus, plus   Yeah the best kept secret in the west the best kept secret in the west   /pre>