Well it seems I've had a lifetime filled with misery   I remember how it all began   The doctor grabbed my feet, slapped me on the cheek   That's what it takes to make a man   Even as a baby they were pinnin' things on me   Daddy called me mother's little lamb   But you should have seen 'em rave   When I gave the dog a shave   That's what it takes to make a man   They thought I was a genius, when I first went to school   Then I flunked my very first exam   And for all the books I've read   There' s just sawdust in my head   That's what it takes to make a man   Well I finally finished highschool, tried some college too   Then I did a hitch with Uncle Sam   I fought the enemy, sergeants I'll agree   That's what it takes to make a man   Well I went back to my hometown   Where the mayor was my friend   Said he knew a job that I could lend   Well I got that job alright   Cleaned the streets up every night   That's what it takes to make a man   Well I got a new position in a dry good store down town   Bought my gal a golden wedding band   But she up and fled the scene   When it turned her finger green   That's what it takes to make a man   Oh yeah, that's what it takes to make a man