Written by Kevin Bacon       "We want this to become the 'You're So Vain' of the millennium." KB       There's a line around the block, and it stretches a mile    They're gonna pay good money to see your dazzlin' smile    You got a come-hither look in your babydoll eyes    And you got the kind of body make a man tell lies    And when you're standing next to me, you do the little things you do       I say, I'm so glad I'm not married, so glad I'm not married    I'm so glad I'm not married, to you       You're the center of attention everywhere you go    Sittin' on the boys' laps puttin' on a show    You get your clothes and your shoes and your drugs for free    And God knows you've got a lot more money than me    When you're bendin' over just to give us all a better view       I say, I'm so glad I'm not married, so glad I'm not married    I'm so glad I'm not married, to you       You introduce me to your guy and you say your love is true    Well he's a better man than I, 'cause he's got to live with you    In the movie of your life, he is just an extra in it    But baby, if you were my wife    To have and hold, the truth be told    I couldn't take it for a New York minute       Now you're crying 'cause the paper printed something rude    You say you never, ever, ever, ever touched that dude    Well, it's the National Enquirer it can't be true    But I'm not so sure they got it wrong about you    You're feeling kind of tragic and your eyes get misty-blue (boo-hoo!)       I say, I'm so glad I'm not married, so glad I'm not married    I'm so glad I'm not married, to you