If you choose me over him   I?ll make you proud, I?ll make you grin   I?ll write a poem about your smile      I?ll buy you hats 'cause I dig your style   I?ll tell all my buddies how good you kiss   While I?m away only you I?ll miss      I?ll share my records and stay really clean   I?ll never fuss nor be mean   In front of all your friends, I will kiss your ass   I?ll leave behind my violent past      If you choose me, if you choose me   Come on and choose me over him      If you choose me over him   I?ll make you proud, on me you can depend   To be nice to your momma, take your daddy fishin?      And I?ll make you biscuits then clean the kitchen   There will be credit cards for all your desires   We can walk in the park and hold hands for hours      I?ll rub your feet, I?ll scratch your back   I?ll brush your hair and then comb it back   We can find that old boyfriend who treated you bad   You can cuss him out while I kick his ass      If you choose me, if you choose me   Come on and choose me over him      I?ll wash your clothes, I?ll pay the bills   You can paint the bedroom anyway you feel   I?ll quit cussin? and lose ten pounds   I?ll swear you?re skinny when you get 'round      If you choose me, if you choose me   Well, come on and mama choose me   I know you're gonna choose me   Sweet lover come on, choose me   I know you're gonna choose me