Wrote a letter this mornin'   Put it in your hat   'Cause no one to read it   And I know you knew that      I bought a joke, a trick or two   Just to bring and show you   Caught ya with the trickster too      Sometimes I wonder how ya knew   A hypnotist, fancy talker   Ruben Remus ain't no doctor      I knew the man and tried to remember   Just where it was that I'd seen his face   Long ago, in a movie show   He was like that man singin' bass   Knew him by his nursery rhyme      The 'Story Of The Rabbit Man'   Fell right in and said to him   "I'd like to help you if I can"   I know the film would only shock ya   Ruben Remus ain't no doctor      He only needed what you had   Asked for nothing more   Said he'd like to take you on   But it's been done before      You couldn't see he's a travelin' man   And he cannot take your hand   It's very hard to understand   Why his songs were never banned   Guess the man would never knock ya   Ruben Remus ain't no doctor      No one seen ya since he's been gone   It's been a day, maybe more   I took a walk in your yard   And knocked on your back door      Why don't you let me in?   I'm not the man who did ya in   Is Mr. Remus still your friend?   You say you don't remember him      Turn me down, would ya?   Well, I've got news for you   Turn me down would ya? Can't ya tell   I'm gonna change your mind before I'm through