Joan was quizzical, studied pataphysical   Science in the home   Late nights all alone with a test-tube   Ohh-oh-oh-oh...   Maxwell Edison majoring in medicine   Calls her on the phone   "Can I take you out to the pictures   Joa-oa-oa-oan?"   But as she's getting ready to go   A knock comes on the door...      Bang, bang, Maxwell's silver hammer   Came down upon her head   Clang, clang, Maxwell's silver hammer   Made sure that she was dead      Back in school again Maxwell plays the fool again   Teacher gets annoyed   Wishing to avoid an unpleasant sce-e-e-ene   She tells Max to stay when the class has gone away   So he waits behind   Writing 50 times "I must not be so-o-o-oo..."   But when she turns her back on the boy   He creeps up from behind      Bang, bang, Maxwell's silver hammer   Came down upon her head   Clang, clang, Maxwell's silver hammer   Made sure that she was dead      P.C. Thirty-One said "we caught a dirty one"   Maxwell stands alone   Painting testimonial pictures ohh-oh-oh-oh   Rose and Valerie screaming from the gallery   Say he must go free (Maxwell must go free)   The judge does not agree and he tells them so-o-o-oo   But as the words are leaving his lips   A noise comes from behind      Bang, bang, Maxwell's silver hammer   Came down upon his head   Clang, clang, Maxwell's silver hammer   Made sure that he was dead