(Cledus T. Judd/Chris Clark)      Twas the fight before Christmas   When all through the house   No furniture left standing, no TV or couch   Our aquarium, heck they even knocked over my Chia Pet   MeMaw was flung 'cross the room by her hair   By her sister Ethel who never fought fair      LET'S GET READY TO TUMBLE!!!!!!!      The children all wrestled and jumped off the beds   Dropping elbows and knees on each other's heads   And MaMaw wth her frying pan and Pa with his bat   Cleared half the room in ten seconds flat   The whole brawl began from an innocent matter   When Aunt Flo thought Eugene said "She looks a whole lot fatter"   She knocked him through the window he fell with a crash   Tore down the gutters and busted his LEG REALLY BAD      You ought to have saw it    It looked like he'd been in a motorcycle wreck   No Kiddin   Yeah awful I couldn't turn to look at it      You see both sides of our family have never gotten along   And every holiday something always go wrong   You ain't supposed to fight but spread joy in this season   But when they get the nog they just look for a reason   In no time at all everybody joined in   And right there we squared off with our closest of kin   It's a time for givin said Uncle Bill   As he gave a black eye to his brother-in-law Phil   I heard somebody say "It's the thought that counts   And right now I'm thinking about knocking your butt out"   Presents and fists flew all over the room   And NaNa had some fancy moves with the broom   She took out three cousins and knocked down the tree   And I ducked just in time she swung out at me      It's my favorite time of year   Dad always has too much beer   Gets on the roof and hunts reindeer   Merry Christmas from the whole fam damily      Tie the antlers on the dog   Save some shine for Santa Claus   From all the in-laws and outlaws   Merry Christmas from the whole fam damily      I crawled to the phone Lord it seemed like a mile   And called 9-1-1 which we keep on speed dial   In a matter of minutes out the window appeared   Flashing blue lights and the Sherrif John Deere   Just then six men burst through the door   Some yelling "HEY IT'S US" Some "GET ON THE FLOOR"   A stray punch from Grandpa found the sherrif's chin   And just for good measure he clocked him again   It took all 6 cops to get Grandpa in cuffs   You know he gets feisty when he runs out of snuff   We all stopped our fighting and cheered Grandpa on   Heck I thought he could take them I guess I was wrong   As they dragged him outside he yelled "I'VE BEEN FRAMED"   He was kicking and screaming and calling them names      "You (bleep) You (bleep)    Let me go you (bleep)    You donut eatin stupid (bleep) son of a (bleep)"      We stood on the porch as did all our neighbras   Who always took interest in our family's behavior   "Mind your own business" we heard Grandma shout   And "We'll take back the presents and then come bail you out"   By now we'd forgotten what we were fighting for   We were battered and bruised but united once more   Then we all joined hands and sang "Violent Night"      Violent Night      And we heard Grandpa exclaim as they drove off out of sight:   "Merry Christmas to all...MAN that was a good fight!!!!"      Deck your neighbor deck the halls   Tis the season for a brawl   From all of us to all of y'all   Merry Christmas from the whole fam damily   Merry Christmas from the whole fam damily   Merry Christmas from the whole fam damily